Just kidding... That's the light above my hospital bed and my finger.
Here is my belly package-
(I am wearing panties, lovely postpartum disposable ones, but you may see my blistered healing thighs in the background. I hope this picture isn't too inappropriate.)
Underneath the pads is a large cut that goes from my belly button down to my previous c-section scars. It goes from one inch wide to maybe 3 inches wide and is pretty raw and thick. It is about 17cm long. I don't know how deep it is, but they say it should heal up from the inside out in 6-8 weeks. 6 to 8 weeks with this thing on my stomach!!! (In real life people deal with wounds like this all the time!! I'm so grateful I've never experienced them before now.)
Before the belly package my tummy was held together by a wound vac. They packed the wound with black foam, covered everything in plastic-torture tape, and then stuck a little vacuum in it. The vacuum sucks everything together and helps things heal without infection. It works well on most patients. Not so much with me... Because I had pockets of "sluff" that needed to be cleaned out. Sluff is yellowish-brownish dead skin stuff that can turn to infection.
The doctors never said I had a real infection-- that means fever and antibiotics. I did have lots of pockets of puss and dead skin.
I have pictures of my wound and pictures from when I had a wound vac, but I can't post them... They're way too gross.
Having a big open wound on my belly really freaks me out. Many people in my family think it's cool. Even Jakob watched a dressing change yesterday. I won't let my other kids see it yet.
This morning I took a shower and rinsed my wound with the moveable shower head. They have been trying to get me to do that for the past few days and I just couldn't. Ughhh. It wasn't that bad this morning, but still makes me really nervous and a bit freaked out.
You don't have feeling deep inside a wound, so it doesn't hurt. You can feel scrubbing and tugging and pressure, so it doesn't feel good when they clean stuff. The worst for me is still the tape.
I think I have a bit of post traumatic stress disorder. I'm super sensitive to pain. When they are ripping the tape from my skin for dressing changes I want to scream. The adhesive remover doesn't seem to work- unless someone is willing to go super slowly.
Life, at home, with a new baby, and two sweet mothers caring for me, is wonderful!!
So nice to be home!!
I love my visiting nurse.
Love my little walker and my big bag of urine.
This morning Eve greeted me with, "Hi mom! Is that pee?" Sweet girl.
I don't love my open wound-- but it is something I can totally do.
I can do this!
Life is good!!