June 17, 2013

A Father

It was a holy space there in the trauma ICU.  My husband, my father and my aunt worked together with Drs and nurses. Each had a spot and each renewed and strengthened one another.
It was beautiful to experience.  

My dad would spend most of his time with baby Benjamin.  He'd quietly slip in during shift changes to pass on reports.
I heard him talking about Benjamin's special glow.  He whispered "there is just something about him.  He is going to be great someday, maybe the next president."
They had recently removed my breathing tube and I whispered- "No, not president.."
Everyone looked at me and I whispered, "a father.  Someday, he'll be a father."
My dad added, "He'll be a really great father."

I'm so grateful for great men and women.
My pain is becoming more manageable.
I walked the length of the hospital room.
I had a faulty drain fan that stopped working and opened my belly incision.
I grew compassion for the Thanksgiving turkey as I was unstuffed, restuffed, re-suctioned.
It's always a shame when the nurses show up AFTER the hard time to give pain meds...

(The answer to all prior inquiries about hair removal before a nominal surgery is-- wax everything off.  Because it is a painful process.)

My MIL, my mom and my kids visited.  I spoke with a few very helpful trauma/children therapist.  Sometime I'll share what I llearned.

Have a great day-- Life is good!

(this is not a true family picture!!  Ben is still in the NICU and lily is holding a doll.)


Jeff Z said...

Jen, you continue to amaze and inspire me, and I'm sure, countless others. May the Lord continue to bless you.

Rebekah said...

So neat to see Drew and Eve with little Ben.
Look at your "great eight"!
Oh, sweet Leah. :)

An Ordinary Mom said...

You have a beautiful family! We are still praying for you to heal and have a full recovery!! Keep your chin up - the Lord and His angels are right there with you!

Lindsey said...

What a beautiful family!! Yes, sometime please do share what you learned from the children's trauma therapist. Still praying for you!

Diane said...

I love the picture with your pouting daughter. We have been praying for your children and your husband too.

I am sorry that you are still enduring so much pain. I will prayer for you to be able to bare it well as your body heals.

Again, thanks for sharing the miracles in your life through this very difficult time. I've been reading your blog and hearing your story for over a year and a half and I can only guess what miracle this tragedy has brought in the lives of your mother and father. God is good. He does know what is best for us. You are amazing to endure every bit of this with perfect faith.

When I think of you now, Jen, I think: Matt 5:14 "Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid."

And one more thing, I ran across this little gem. When you feel well enough you might want to read the entire talk. Here is just a beautiful quote:

"There is a passage in our Scriptures which the Latter-day Saints accept as divine: ‘This is the glory of God—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man’ [see Moses 1:39]. Likewise we could say that this is the glory of men and women—to bring to pass the mortality of the sons and daughters of God, to give earth-life to the waiting children of our Father. … The greatest mission of woman is to give life, earth-life, through honorable marriage, to the waiting spirits, our Father’s spirit children who anxiously desire to come to dwell here in this mortal state. All the honor and glory that can come to men or women by the development of their talents, the homage and the praise they may receive from an applauding world, worshipping at their shrine of genius, is but a dim thing whose luster shall fade in comparison to the high honor, the eternal glory, the ever-enduring happiness that shall come to the woman who fulfils the first great duty and mission that devolves upon her to become the mother of the sons and daughters of God” N Eldon Tanner


Marie said...

Good morning, friend...
It must have been wonderful to have been surrounded by all your babies yesterday! Better than any pain medication. (Well.... close anyway!) It has been a long time since they have had a real hug from their amazing momma... I am praying that you will be back home soon and enjoying every precious and crazy moment!
I have no doubt that all your children will, someday, be awesome parents.... Just look at the example you and Todd are showing them every day.
Have a glorious day! ❤

My 4 Gooches said...

I found your blog through a friend. Your story is so incredible. You know what? I knew you would make it through this. Even though I don't know you personally, your spirit and your determination are evident through your writing. I firmly believe that through optimism, we can produce positive outcomes. Obviously, Heavenly Father is the ultimate decider, but I believe he allows us to take part in our future by the way we handle our obstacles and trials. Never lose your strength in seeing things in a positive light because it is that outlook that brings you to your happy moments. Also, through my trials, I've found that as soon as you learn what God would have you learn from your difficulty, the trial passes more quickly. Stay positive and happy. You are truly an inspiration!! I'll continue looking forward to your updates as you heal and my prayers are being sent your way. You are an amazing woman and beautiful example of a mother sent from Heaven. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

Mary said...

I bet I can guess the reason for the pout...little sister got to hold baby Ben for the photo! I see your beautiful smile, but read into it a very tired Mama, who's waiting for her children to leave before she can groan out loud from the pain she's feeling. You are so brave! Thank you so much for sharing your courage, because it makes me braver too! (at least it makes me WANT to be braver). :) Love and prayers from me and my family (yes, my kids are praying for "Jenifer Moss" or "Jenifer Moss and her baby" and most of them have no idea who you are, but those who are old enough have seen your blog, and are moved to compassion and faith on your behalf as well). -Mary

The Boys Club plus a girl! said...

Jen, what a special family you have that will grow closer than ever, and be the best parents, seeing how you have mastered this trial. I know you still have much pain, and there are still difficulties ahead, but remember each day will get better. Just keep shuffling one foot in front of the other, and appreciate each better toe, as you already do. Love you Jen! I'm so glad you were able to touch your kiddos again. What a blessing! And so happy they were able to hold your miracle baby!


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