June 12, 2013

June 12- alive!

My legs are swollen like two smoked sausage links.
I have dried boogers and earwax of deep red blood.
I have held my baby twice and have been shown pictures of him, but today was the first time I actual was able to see him.  (My eyes were so blurry that I couldn't focus on small details.)
Today. As I was climbing into bed, I caught a glimpse of his picture and I was in awe-- he is beautiful.
Beautiful and ours.
Todd and I make beauty together.
No man should ever have to do what Todd has done the past few days.
My nurse said that she only knows a few times in her years of working in trauma ICU that a patient was admitted with two nurses treating her.  I had two nurses.
She said this morning that other nurses went down the list.  They were all surprised when they saw my name saying, "Wow, she's still alive."

Yes, yes I am still alive!!
(you know it's not good when a trauma intensive care nurse is surprised.)
And it is going to be a long, LONG, hard road to health and healing.

But, I'm going to get better.  Do you know how I know?
Today-- I pooped!
Yes. Last night was my most panicked pain-filled experience...
This morning I awoke without pain.
I got out of bed, I pumped (as in breast feeding pumping) and I ran my first shuffle around the bed shaking leg marathon.  (Next lap around the bed will be my "lengthen my stride" marathon shuffle.)
Then, the nurse flushed my catheter and was helping to position me back into bed.
I got really bad gas pains (my bowels are still in shock and so we're waiting for them to wake up.)
As they were lifting me I passed the loudest gas ever.  I was so embarrassed. But very excited.  
It smelled horrible.
Then, my eyes got huge with surprise as poop spilled out of me-- right there on the bed-- onto the pillow.
(Good thing those pillows have plastic wrappers- next time you might be laying on my poop pillow- lovely.)
I felt diarrhea ooze out of my bottom again. I said with alarm, "I'm pooping!"
She said, "you're not pooping?  It's gas."
I said, "it is poop!"
We both smiled and I knew, sitting there in my own diarrhea that everything was going to be ok.
Todd had been up with me all night- he finally left my room to sleep once I woke up and convinced him I would be ok without him.
He was sleeping- but all I wanted was to tell him that I did it-- I pooped!!
I knew he would say-
He isn't surprised that I'm still alive.
He has never doubted we could do this.
And today I believe him.
Life is so good.

37 comments:

Kaela Frame said...

Wahoooo!!!! So happy to see that you are back! They definitely like hearing from you more than me ;)
Love you!!!

Amy said...

A huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes and I don't even know you personally. But I feel like you are one of my dearest friends and I am praying with all my heart for you! I am so happy for you and thought it was great to read the details of your poop! Don't worry, it doesn't gross me out. I go into detail like that too! You are AMAZING and I am trying my hardest to be a better mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend because of you. Thank you for allowing the rest of us to learn from you and know that we can do hard things! :)

Leidy van Ispelen said...

Holy Smokes! I can't believe that the nurse said that. You are one amazing and inspiring lady. I have been following your posts every day now, and praying and thinking good thoughts for you and your family all along the way. You are in our thoughts.

On a side note, your writing and documenting of your own family and journey has inspired me to finally start my own journal/blog of our family, and I ...and hopefully my kids...will always thank you for that! I can only hope that one day after much practice I will be as eloquent, funny, inspiring, and entertaining as you! You have changed so many lives for the better, I'm sure, and will continue to do so.

Kerri said...

Unbelievable that a post on poop would make me cry. But then, it is more than a post about poop, isn't it. I loved reading your faith-filled words. So so so glad that you are on the path to healing.

Gerilyn said...

Celebration time, come on! Jen, this warmed my heart, I am not kidding. I have been praying for this specific blessing as I know it is going to be so tricky to recover. How amazing our bodies are! WaHoo!!! Love you!

Daniele Brown said...

I'm so glad you are feeling well enough to write again and that your sense of humor is still there! Prayers for continued healing are coming your way continually.

Anonymous said...

Love hearing from you again. Your amazing! Congrats from the Odell's.

Sandra Butcher said...

Big smiles to you (from Oslo this time). Best sign yet is this post, and proof that sense of humor and determination is still shining through. You. Are. Awesome. Love you!!!!

Kent and Lieren said...

Hooray for poop, lol :0)!! I'm so grateful to hear that you are doing better today! Progress! I hope and pray that Heavenly Father will continue to bless you each moment of your recovery. Your sweet Ben is so adorable! We will continue praying for you and your family!

Allie said...

you are back.

just how your readers like it.

we will anxiously be awaiting ALL of the details like only you can tell them!

Allie said...

thought you'd like to know that my cute retired parents are following you, too. and just called me to tell me you were back. now i will call tiffany!

Tiffany said...

YAY! I can't believe that you're all ready back to blogging. Wait. Of course I can! :-)
Um... scary that the nurse said that to you (about still being alive). Were you like, "Um, you know you just told me that OUT LOUD?!"
Sitting on a poop pillow. *snort laugh*
LOVE YOU, JEN!!!

Jennie Plastow said...

Awesome news!!! I am so glad to see you posting. Welcome back. And congratulations on pooping. Seriously. That is awesome news. Ill have to tell you my pooping story sometime. It was so gross. Isn't that's first one just nasty? The extra iron pills and laxatives all mixed together makes for good times. :) ah, I am so glad you are moving onward and upward. Keep shuffling around that bed when you can. It will turn into shuffles down the hallway, then the block and each time you will get better and better. So proud of you!! Keep fighting girl. You are an inspiration to us all.

Emily said...

So happy you have seen your beautiful baby. He looks perfect. Very very happy to hear an update from you. You are an inspiration to me!

Anonymous said...

Jen!! It is so good to have you back in the land of the living! (We appreciate to no end Todd keeping us updated, but he is like most guys, brief.) You have such a fun way to put things, thus I'm sure why you have such a huge following, and many you haven't even met! (To all of you that haven't met Jen, she is just as fun in person as she seems on her blog, maybe more!) Your baby is beautiful! You guys do make cute babies! I'm glad your vision has cleared so you can enjoy him. I'm also so glad that things are improving! Shuffling leads places! I hope things continue to get better everyday!

Praying and wishing you all the best,
Shann

Anonymous said...

I was laughing and crying reading your post today. My husband was poking fun at me a little bit that I have been so touched by your story and your faith and I have never met you and probably never will. Just know that that doesn't diminish my feelings of joy and gratitude that you are doing well. I showed my kids all your pictures and your sweet, beautiful baby--we have all been praying so hard for you. My little girls remind me if I ever forget. LOVED the poop story--thank you for being real.

Cheryl said...

WELCOME BACK! So happy to see you writing again. Yes, you are alive and so many of us are relieved and
grateful! Hooray for pooping! :)

Cheryl said...

Cheryl ^^^ introduced me to your blog. I have read you for hours the past few days. You are an amazing and beautiful person! I'm so happy you are alive and your amazing husband and lucky children have you for a very long time! I have been praying for you!

Anonymous said...

Yay!!!
It's wonderful to hear from you! Now start enjoying that beautiful baby :)
Hugs from Florida

The Perry Family said...

I'm sooooooooo excited to see this post from you!!!!!! ;) Pooping is awesome and a wonderful sign!!!!

Chocolate on my Cranium said...

Whoop for poop!

Glad you are writing again! I know the road ahead will be hard but we've got your back {we live for danger}.

Seriously though, we are still praying for your full recovery and for little Ben's. Todd is amazing. But you already know that.

Kristine de Vera said...

That's awesome! My doctors haven't mentioned anything to me about difficulty in bowel movements yet. Maybe they're saving that for a last minute surprise ;) I'm so happy you're doing better! The post surgery posts have given me insight on what to expect for my surgery & a whole lot of hope. Some of it is a little scary, but I'd much rather know what I'm in for in 2 short weeks. I've got my husband reading your blog & he agrees that it is such a breath of fresh optimism compared to most sites mentioning percreta out there. Your baby is beautiful! A beautiful addition to a beautiful family :)

Anonymous said...

Ok Lady, I deem you an official PIONEER! NO ASSOCIATE here! Pure pioneer! I think that perhaps you have had MORE experiences than the pioneers! Here is some of their advice,"no toil or labor fear, but with JOY wend your way!" You GO GIRL! Know that we love and miss you! Dawn clark

Kate said...

Oh my gosh so funny! Congratulations on the poop and so glad you are back!

Team said...

Wonderful to hear your voice again!!!

Elicia Gregg said...

Jen,

Many thanks to your family for posting updates while you were down for a bit. I waited and watched as each update came through, and was hopeful that the day would come when you would be well enough to post on your own. Today is that day. Congratulations! I wish you a speedy recovery - and awesome job pooping! ;-)

Stephanie said...

Another hurrah! from someone who doesn't know you but has been praying for you and touched by your faith, strength, and optimism. What a beautiful family. I am SO glad you are on the road to recovery! I will continue to pray for you and your family. God bless you all!

Stephanie--Florida

Emily said...

Made me laugh and cry. Yay for poop and being alive :)

Leah said...

Oh I have never been so happy to hear all about someone's POOP!!! You are such a rockstar, Jen. It is amazing to see how you have impacted so many people, including myself. Glad to see you back on the blog. Tonight I am praying you'll get a peacful, sleepy night's rest. Love you!

The Nicholas Family said...

So good to hear from you! And so glad your doing better! I love the miracle of this whole experience-so amazing!

Eliz said...

So Happy to see your post!! I'm so glad you feel a little better. You've been in my thoughts and prayers continually. I don't know you but feel like I do from your blog. I've also spent hours reading... You are a beautiful person. Your faith is inspiring. Sending more prayers and love your way..

Elizabeth in Idaho

Marie said...

Hi Jen... As they say... there's nothing quite like a good poo! So happy for you! :) Bet you'll sleep good tonight.
Hugs to Todd... What a special man you have, but you don't need me to tell you that. Even through his updates, we could feel his love and concern for you. Lovely to see!
Rest well tonight... Hug that sweet little guy for all of us. ❤

Evaly said...

So happy to hear your progress and see you posting again!

Shelly said...

Welcome back Jen!
You are amazing! Your willingness to go into this with your eyes wide open and choosing to bring little Ben into the world is inspiring!
I'm so glad that you are feeling well enough to blog & to be glad for poops :) Its the little things, right?
Still praying for you & your sweet family!
(Tiffany's friend, Shelly)

CTR Mama said...

Yay!

jenifer said...

Oh Kristin-- don't read my story. I believe it would be this hard. Your sutgery and recovery will be fine. From day one I've seemed to have a worst case scenario.

Amy G said...

I saw another Amy say almost exactly what I was thinking of saying. I don't know you, but you've been on my mind this week and I'm just so happy you're doing good and that you pooped! I had c-sections so I know how important it is to have gas and poop and it's nothing compared to what you've been through, but I do know the horribly awful, painful and loud gas the human body is capable of making after surgery... I too was shocked with what my body could do. It's good to see you have a sense of humor during all of this. You're amazing!!! Simply amazing and I only discovered your blog last week, but I can tell you are not your average woman. May God continue to bless you and help you make a fast and complete recovery so that you can do the things you desire to do with and for your family!

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