This is really happening.
We fly out next week and hope to only be in a hotel for a week before our house closing.
I'm a bit of a mess physically and emotionally.
I have a mile long list of things To Do, although my brain gets anxious with more than one thing at a time.
My SIL reminded me that our new home was such an obvious blessing. It is funny that with one part of my brain I know that everything is going to work out, that this move (like every move before) is a gift. I know that and yet with another part of my brain I'm freaking out about everything that has to happen in the next few weeks.
I try to stay in the grateful place and I try not to think about things that make me crazy. Not sure that is the best coping mechanism...
Part of me wants to yell-- STOP! This is too much too fast. I can't do it any more. (Truthfully, I'm not doing much.) But, you can't stop life. Like it or not, the days are passing and we really are moving. I make myself laugh daily imagining my conversation with God-
Me- "This is too hard. I can't do it any more. I'm done."
God- gentle smile and knowing nod
Me- umm, still walking.
Because really, we can choose life with a good attitude or life with a bad attitude, but we can't always choose an easy life.
I'm trying to choose life with a good attitude. Trying...
My blood pressure is too low- my Dr thinks I'm dehydrated. Blah. I'm trying to eat and drink more. I still spend half my life in the bathroom. I'm still loosing weight- my skinny clothes are loose on me.
I know this blog sounds quite whiney- again. The honest truth is, my life is not awful. We have so much help and the move really is going to be smooth. I get overwhelmed with writing thank you notes and laying on the couch while my mom packs and organizes my house.
My in-laws are coming on Saturday. Todd and I are speaking in church on Sunday. After church, Jakob is having his Eagle court of honor. Movers are coming on Tuesday.
New York is making school registration darn near impossible. They won't even give me a school supply list until my kids are registered in classes and we can't register them until we have current physicals from NY doctors (they tell me the NY doctor part after I arrange 6 physicals with Oregon doctors). They need proof of residency- and won't accept our signed house contract. Whateva!! I'm not too concerned if our kids end up starting school late. The silly state is making pre-registering them quite a headache... And, my head already hurts.
If it weren't for extended family, church friends, and Todd-- we would not be surviving. Todd is not stressed as long as I am happy. So, all I have to do is be a happy cripple and we are good.
Sure, my life sounds a bit hectic and extreme... But I think many of us are stretching through our days.
Remember the man who was told by God to push a boulder? After some time, people walking by started laughing at him. They told him he was never going to move a boulder that big. The man stopped pushing, feeling stupid. A few days went by and God asked the man why he stopped pushing the boulder? The man whined to God that he would never be able to move a boulder that big. God smiled and said, "I didn't tell you to MOVE the boulder, just to PUSH it."
Today, I'm pushing my own boulder.
I'm not getting far, but I'm getting stronger.
Life is good.