Blessed.

If I wasn't folding laundry yesterday, I wouldn't have found this...

A blue wad of fabric stuck inside a baby sock.

Upon closer inspection we notice that this blue fabric wad is actually a pair of homemade Barbie panties.  Priceless.

The mother of a boy on Jakob's soccer team called me yesterday and asked if she could bring my family dinner.  She said she was laying in bed and just kept thinking that she should call and offer dinner.  I told her she was sweet and inspired.  I thanked her.  She concluded, "I really think God told me to bring you a meal."

I felt loved when she brought me dinner later that day.  As I shut the door behind my new friend, I jokingly said to Heaven, "Don't think one silly meal is going to make up for all this mess."

And, I thought about that the rest of the day.

How often do we feel sorry for ourselves and honestly believe our life is harder than most?  I'm embarrassed at how I sometimes pull away from God with a little 36 year old tantrum.  Not really cursing Him, just not really thanking Him either.  I literally witnessed God intervening in my behalf and STILL refused to feel his total love for me.

I don't believe any of us are ever given challenges without also being given compensating blessings.  We might not see the sunshine through the clouds but it is there and we are being warmed even as the storm rages.  We don't lack blessings, we lack vision to see them.

I'm embarrassed to even admit to you one moment of self-pity.  Because really, really I have so much to be grateful for.  (We all do, you might have different trials than me, but you also have different blessings.)

-I have been given an unreal baby.  He sleeps for hours and hours.  He is almost always giggling or smiling.  When he is not eating, sleeping, or burping, he happily sits in his bouncy chair cooing at anyone who passes by.  He is a beautiful gift of a baby.  (I do love babies- even when they're fussy.  But this kid is just special.)

-Eve is a blessing.  She really is the most darling, easy 2 year old ever.  She is so helpful and smart and fun.  I have had my share of normal, active, messy tots.  Eve is abnormal.  I wish I could take credit for her easiest potty training ever.  But, I hardly did anything.  She just comes to me with a big smile on her face and says, "Mom, I went potty.  Pee downstairs and then poop upstairs."  All day long she is a joy to have.

-My laundry is all washed, folded and put away.  My house is pretty well organized and it stays pretty clean.  For years this was my challenge.  (Of course I'm only on day three of life without a live-in grandmother.)

-I have been blessed with a really great extended family, they are even better than I realized at times.  They have all cared for me and my gang so much this past year.  I'm so grateful for my family and a bit ashamed I didn't know how much they all loved me before I ended up in the hospital.

-My big kids are hard right now, really hard.  They're fighting a lot and we're trying to redefine our relationship (mainly that I am their beloved mother whom they respect, help, and happily obey).  With a large family you must have the big kids on your side or chaos reigns.  We're getting there.  As I've been alone here, and sick (again), they have stepped up without me having to ask.  They are being the kids I remember them to be.  Another little (huge) blessing.  

-I am blessed with kind and good friends.  Real life friends, blog friends, phone friends, people who send me kind cards or leave sweet messages.  Thank you!!  Thank.  You.  How could I ever feel alone when I am surrounded by such goodness?  We are never alone.  Good people are everywhere... Even in a little New York town.

-I have a beautiful marriage and a beautiful home and my heart is at peace.

My soul reaches out to each of you... Oh, let us SEE our blessings.  We are so blessed-- even if our life is hard.  Why is it easier to feel our challenges than it is to feel our blessings?

Want to know another blessing?  As I was typing this I got a call from a doctor's office reminding me of an appointment I have in an hour.  Another possible surgeon.  I didn't know about this appointment, but since two of my big kids are home sick and yet feeling better, they can babysit for me while I run out.  Just another little blessing.

Today, I humbly tell Heaven.  Sorry I missed the sun rays, sorry I missed the rainbow, sorry I complained about the rain that even as it fell was a gift.  The good always outweighs the bad.  Once again I am humbled and grateful.

Life is really good.
God loves us.
We are blessed.