October 23, 2013

currently.

I watched this video the other day and it stuck with me.


(I have heard this story before, but it was different to me this time.  Go ahead, watch it again.  It takes 3 minutes.)

Today, I feel like that currant bush.
I just know, if I were more healthy, I could do great things.
I've been pruned.
I'm learning to trust my Gardener.
To realize that I don't need to run faster than I have strength given me.
Today, that means I'm not running.  I'm walking.
I love the end quote where he says, "All of us can meet God's high expectations however great or small our capacity may be."
Only, he should have said, "All of us can meet God's expectations even when they are not as high or as great or as small as our own idea of our capacity may be."
Sometimes God's HIGH expectations for us require us to lower ourselves, sometimes He asks us to stretch.
It's funny that you can stretch even as you are being cut back.

There is actually peace in accepting that I really don't NEED to do anything more than I am able to do.
Perhaps I have grand visions of being a 6 foot tree.
I feel myself saying to God-- you should see how much I could do if I were just a bit healthier and could stretch myself a little bit further.
He is saying back to me... I don't need you stretching, I need you content and centered.
Today I am a small currant bush trying to nourish a few leaves and my own little batch of fruit.
I'm not doing anything glamorous or grand, but I'm currently happy (pun intended).

Life is good from down here.  :)

8 comments:

Handsfullmom said...

You are doing something marvelous and grand. You are enduring well, with cheerfulness, the race that was set before you. And you are teaching us all along the way about what really matters in life.

love you!

Anonymous said...

I had the same thoughts as the women above. You ARE doing something grand although it may appear baby steps to you, it truly is grand. Love you Sister Moss!

Erin L said...

Thanks for your inspirational posts. (And your comment on my blog.) I don't know all of your challenges, but I hope things look up soon. Feel free to stop by any time.

Marie said...

@Handsfullmom said it perfectly! Jen, you are amazing... Meeting every challenge head-on with faith, strength, and that wicked sense of humor we all have come to love! With every post, you teach us how to make our lives better. Your children are SO blessed to have YOU for their mom!!!

Keep on keepin' on, sweet friend! ❤️

Gina Walker said...

Jenifer,

I stumbled upon your Blog and was very interested in the information you have shared. My name is Gina Walker and I too am a survivor. I have started a non-profit organization called Hope for Accreta Foundation. I would really like to connect with you. Please check out our website:

hopeforaccreta.org

Christine Suldinger said...

I love that video Jennifer. Thanks for sharing. I'm struggling to find my faith right now and I just admire how you seem so full of it.
28 weeks and 3 days for me :) still in the hospital with bleeding episodes but I've made it so far.

Christine Suldinger said...

I love that video Jennifer. Thanks for sharing. I'm struggling to find my faith right now and I just admire how you seem so full of it.
28 weeks and 3 days for me :) still in the hospital with bleeding episodes but I've made it so far.

jenifer said...

Oh Christine!! Hang in there! You are NOT alone and you CAN do this. It's so worth it!

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