January 20, 2014

The sun'll come out TOMORROW!

I was home from church yesterday with an ache in my side and two feverish tots.

As I was thinking how romantic it would be to sink into Anne Shirley's "depths of despair", I heard a whisper from the Heavens.

A question actually, whispered to my melancholy soul.  "Jen," He asked, "Where are you going to plant your garden?"
Outside my window the world is a beautiful white.  Yet, under the snow are acres of possibility.  This winter will pass, my baby will toddle, my scars will heal again, sunshine will brighten and energize, and I will PLANT new seeds.

I knew that my home needs a name...
Winterberry Way
Moss Meadows
Heritage Hill
Little House on Ten Acres
I still need some input from my kids.

I've been panicked a bit because my oldest is a freshman.  I keep feeling like I only have three more years to establish my life.  (Or, that I should be established more because this is all the time I have left.)  

I stepped back a bit and realized I have 18 years until Ben leaves home.  Creating my own little Zion out here in the east, seems more possible to do in 20 years than 3.  

We were only in Oregon for three years.  The first year was transitional and planting- the second year was blossoming- the third year was pure reaping.  (Guess what?!  The professor reminded me that we only lived in Oregon TWO years.  How could I love those people so much after only knowing them a year and a half before going to the hospital?!!)

I'm in year one, first winter.  
Spring is coming!

I wrote out a three year plan and realized I don't need everything perfect today... But, I do need to feel like I'm making progress forward!

2014 is a year of new beginnings.
(See little Eve?  That will be baby Ben this year!)

-Start a garden spot for veggies, an orchard for fruit trees (apple, pear, and cherry), a pumpkin/squash patch, and plant rows of berry bushes (at least strawberries, raspberries, and blueberries).  Doesn't that sound fun?!!

{Yes- I know it won't all happen-- what fun is a dream that isn't dreamy?}

-A new puppy for Jakob (he's leaning towards a beagle.)

-Health and healing for mom.  
Finish surgeries and get strong!

-Learning work, church and lawn care for dad.

-Chickens for Drew and Anna (build a coop with grandpa).

-Maybe lambs to sell at the fair for Ellie and Leah.  (Some level of competency in room/self care must be achieved prior to adding animals.)
(Haha- oh how I love sisters.)

-A functional, organized home with systems.  (It takes awhile to figure out new houses.)

-Christmas 2014-- the moss family will ski.  (There is a great mountain right here in our little town.  I want to buy season passes.  My kids will love skiing!  I really want to cross country ski.)  I wish getting ski stuff for a large family wasn't so expensive and, um, that I was strong enough to exercise.

This winter I'm going to focus on my inside (pun intended) so that when spring comes I can focus outside.  (Pictures hung, curtains, closets organized, picture books printed-ha, um, Christmas card mailed...)

I don't anticipate much travel away from home this year.  I anticipate lots of grass stains, seed catalogs, and learning.  I know 2015 will come and I will still have a To Do list just as long as my current list.

I think it is SO healthy and hopeful to look forward and envision your future however you want it to look.  (Even if you can barely vacuum a floor.)  
Goals mean we have hope that things can get better!

I really want a visit from an um, horticulturist?, a small farm planner who can look at my land and tell me where to put everything I dream of having...

Last night the kids and I researched growing veggies in New York, different seed varieties, chicken breeds and coop styles, and we watched you tube videos of beagle dogs.  It was beautiful and "healthy" feeling.

Heaven knows I need to LOOK UP and plan ahead! 
We do have a loving Father in Heaven who speaks to us.  
He spoke to my soul and whispered HOPE!  (Sunshine on a cloudy day.)
I can't tell you how one simple question helped me to "smile that frown away!"
God is good.

My path is a bit snowed in and slow going these days, but there are bright days in my future.  I know it.

I'll be complaining about zucchini in no time.  :)

Life is what you make it.
I think I've got 20 years left in me.  ;)
I'm so grateful for hope!


Angie Vach said...

Ok lady you need to share your gardening knowledge! I had a small one the last two years that didn't go so well. I have lots to learn still!! What a fabulous dream.

Grandma Donna said...

Hi Jen, I just love the girl's bedroom picture. Isn't it amazing that 2 sisters, same home, same environment, same upbringing and values could have such distinctly different personalities. I think it is wonderful. My two granddaughters are also so very much alike in the way they look but oh so very much their own person.

Sara Wright said...

Your talk about spring and gardening is so refreshing! I'm in Oregon and you are familiar with the gray we have. I've been feeling it more lately. I'm going to plan my garden right now! I think I'll make it an every January event. It's coming! Spring is coming.

Thanks AGAIN for brightening my day!

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