January 17, 2014

Around my house.

Honestly, straightening a messy house is so rewarding.
My home is my happily ever after- and I am happiest here.
(With or without infected kidneys.)
I smiled a few times as I straightened...
First- I found this lovely
A jellied pickle.  What?!
This thing was stuck on the bottom of a chair leg.  It felt like a gummy bear.
We don't even eat pickles.  
This note, in a pile of papers Anna wanted to save, reminded me that sometimes I'm a good mom.  Hopefully when I write they can re-read it over and over.
(Lily told me yesterday that I was her favorite mom.  She said if dad ever leaves me and gets a new mom, she won't even do what the new mom says.  Nice.)
I have these paper creations everywhere.  My kids are really good at origami.
They amaze me.
(These origami pictures are old- I honestly do not still have my Christmas tree up.)
(That's a paper firework.)
This is the book, from the library, we have loved.
Speaking of library books, this is our pile.
Smile.
Twinderella is all my older girls talk about these days.  I love musicals.
I hate messy Tupperware cabinets.  I always want to throw every piece away and just buy the ziplock disposables in two sizes.  Maybe today?
Ben went to the doctors and she teased him that he was a short fat man.  
Check out this growth curve!
I love my sweet, chunky boy!
And, I love little girl, patent leather church shoes.  Darling.
Anyone love this?
Nothing says "new in town" more than nice people giving us rum for Christmas.  
When my house gets messy, my trashcans are all overflowing.  Emptying the trash is one of my most rewarding jobs.  (Eve wanted me to take a picture of her with the trash.  Then she wanted to see.  As I showed her the picture, she smiled and said, "Yeah, I'm pwetty."  I love two.)

Bored of my random iPhone pictures yet?
I loved this mom and kids shot from the Ensign.  Doesn't it feel Norman Rockwell to you? (Hmmm.  Even cuter upside down?)
Finally, I braided 4 little girls' hair this morning.
One French, two plain piggy tail braids, and one top of the head, little girls braid.
I have five little girls!
I always dreamed of being a mom who sent my daughters to school in braids.
See- this here is my happily ever after.
I love it.

:: I posted this blog and then wondered if I was honest.  I AM being honest.  I don't tell you my crazy, whiny side because it doesn't help.  And, I don't have time!  Haha.

I didn't tell you that I vacuumed yesterday.  Vacuuming makes me feel like all is good with the world!  I vacuumed PINE NEEDLES leftover from my Christmas tree!  I could have RAKED the crumbs off my kitchen floor. 

My kids came home and played with those iron-on little circle beads and my floor was covered again in minutes.  Haha- karma.

During dinner (Chinese food take-out) my side hurt so bad Todd wanted to take me to the ER.  While I was laying on the couch he lectured to me that he didn't care a lick about the house and would I please STOP cleaning up.

Can I admit that to you without you lecturing me also?  

Can I tell you my new doctor (just six months out of residency) called and told me that my urine sample (from Wednesday) did show infection but that (because it was now the weekend) she wouldn't know what antibiotic to prescribe until probably next Tuesday?  And, could I please call my urologist to ask him what prescriptions they've used in the past? 

I suggested SHE talk to my urologist (right?) and that (because I have a history of kidney issues, and because I'm in a lot of pain) she should call me in a prescription TODAY and change it on Tuesday if she needs to.  Right?!  

Did I tell you I birthed my seventh child naturally and I didn't complain?!  Did I tell you that by the time they caught my first kidney infection it was septic?  When I say I'm hurting-  I AM hurting!  

Stop telling me how good I look-- I didn't get in a plane crash!! My injuries are INTERNAL and I have eight kids- I am good at FAKING it.  :)

Sigh.  
Um, I really don't know how to treat a kidney infection because I'm not a doctor!!!  
I'm a family science major for heaven's sake.

Good thing I didn't mop my floor yesterday, like I wanted to.  Because this morning Jakob bumped into Ellie as she was sipping hot chocolate and she jumped- somehow spilling her hot chocolate all over Jakob and my now sticky floor.  Sigh.

And just incase you are reading this and don't have children (or have some perfect vampire like children), I will tell you that my children DO help out around the house.  A lot.  My straight A, Eagle Scout, student of the month, oldest of 8, 14 year old, DID vacuum for me.  On Wednesday.  He just somehow MISSED a bunch.  It's NOT the same.  

Ellie "cleaned up" her spilled hot chocolate.  Now, I have a sticky floor and a pile of chocolate towels.  Helpful kids do not replace a mother.  (Especially not when mom has been down for over a year.)  There are things only a mom can do.

Today I need to go shopping.  Todd doesn't want me to go without him.  But, he is up to his eyeballs with work and I think I can do this.  One store.  Slowly.  I'll be fine.  I'm actually excited to get out of the house!  I don't think I am making things worse (I'll have an infection with or without groceries).  This is my life now and I need to live it the best I can.

Nope- I don't need lecture.  I'm NOT overdoing it- I'm just surviving.  Sometimes, in order to survive, you need to pick up your house and go grocery shopping even if you don't feel well.
I'm not "sick", I'm dealing with issues that won't go away in one week.  

This is my life.  Nobody gave me a manual on how to live this part.  I'm doing the best I can.  Maybe I'm doing it all wrong-- everyone has their own opinion.  Ultimately- I need to choose. 

Yesterday, I chose pain with a vacuumed floor and my clean laundry all folded.  Even as my side ached, I felt good.

It is hard, frustrating, and sometimes painful- but it is a beautiful life.  (Today I spent too long typing this blog while Ben naps and eve and I are taking a now cold bath.  TMI?  Eve just got out to go potty, she asked, "Mom, can I please pee in a cup?"  Hahaha.  This child has seen too many urology appointments.)

Thanks for listening to my rant.
In my opinion- We all need to smile at gummy pickles every now and then.  And, clean laundry and a vacuumed floor have just as many healing qualities as resting in a messy house.  (Just my ever so humble opinion.)
Mmmmm.

12 comments:

The Perry Family said...

After reading, I'm just worried about your doctor situation! haha I know everyone has to learn but for someone that has went through all you have went through, I want you to find a more seasoned doctor! haha Hope you get to feeling better and I LOVE reading your blog! Prayers from Arkansas!

jenifer said...

I know. I'm at "the best" doctor's office, but the older, more experienced doctors aren't accepting new patients.

I was hoping she would ask other doctors if she was unsure how to treat me. Sigh. It is hard finding good doctors.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much sharing this post and yesterday's post. You are such an incredibly strong person and I am just really amazed to read about how you cope.

Tina said...

Hi Jenifer :-) Just wanted to let you know that you are an inspiration! I appreciate your mix of hopes&dreams (an organized tupperware cupboard) with REALITY - encompassed in optimism, eternal perspective, and enduring to the end. I shared a couple of your posts with some YW in my ward as we talked about Personal Progress Divine Nature #2 - hope you don't mind :-) Prayers for a speedy and effective Rx...

Marie said...

Rant away, Jen! We are all here for you!!! ❤️
LOVE all your "random" photos! 📷
One of my fave things is filling up that trash can as well!
Will be praying that you get that perfect antibiotic TODAY! 💊
...and... I may or may not still have our tree up. 🎄

Melanie said...

Your strength to endure challenges is amazing. Lol at the pee in a cup comment. Children learn quickly. My son caught onto the breast feeding idea after another little brother came along. He would nurse his stuffed animal while I nursed the baby:)

Hoping you got your RX today and that the infection and discomfort subside.

jenifer said...

Thanks!

jenifer said...

Don't mind at all. Thanks for your comment. I hope my blog always feels as balanced as you describe.

jenifer said...

Marie- haha! Get that tree put away! Or, hang some hearts on it for Valentine's Day. :). Wish I could fill your trash cans with hundreds of crayon rainbows or school papers that say "I lov Feesh". You would enjoy my trash. :)

jenifer said...

I did get a Rx... Fingers crossed.
My kids always nurses from their belly button? Kids are great. Thanks for reading my blog and commenting!

olga sermon said...

Hi Jen, I love your blog too! Incredible how you manage to pack so much optimism, hope and wit in every post!
But I am worried about your doctor - why did not she give you antibiotics on Wednesday? And why did not she give you extra to stash at home for next time? There is plenty of research proving that the woman knows exactly when she has a uti with no tests. And if it hurts so much, you have to lie down - it is time to go to A&E and demand antibiotics from them. With your history, it should not be a problem. Endurance is great, but it's important to look after yourself, so you can look after you family.

The Perry Family said...

You are right.... It is hard finding new doctors for sure! Grrr....

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