May 08, 2014

Are you busy?

My mother in law called around 5pm last night to see how things were going.
She asked, "Are you busy?" And then we both laughed, because she knows what 5pm looks like in my house.

-I was cooking dinner (black beans and rice).
-Lily was in her cute, red apron helping me to stir the frying chicken.
-Ben was laying on a quilt in the back porch, a bit fussy (found out later he had a poopy diaper).
-Leah was scrubbing a smaller section of a side porch with vinegar and water (she needed to earn 50 cents to give to Lily because she had gotten caught eating Lily's candy).
-Drew was in the backyard trying to introduce Rocco to a chicken-- working against the natural kill/run instincts of both animals.
-Jakob was at a track meet (I was wishing I could have been there to see him).
-Ellie, Anna and Eve were in the barn, I found out later they were painting the chicken coop.  Oh, the well-intentioned mess!
-My family room was littered with laundry, mostly folded but some still in progress.

Yes, I am busy.
Beautifully busy.

I've been recognizing lately there are some tides of life that no amount of hard work, knowledge or preparation can eliminate.
These are the tasks of life that can't be delegated away and don't lighten as you acquire more and more.  

My list continues to grow as I analyze.
These are things we all must allocate time to and they are never finished.
-physical nourishment 
-finances or stewardships
-intimacy or physical relationships with others

You can't get to a point where you're smart enough, nourished enough, spiritual enough, or friendly enough.
You don't ever finish parenting or cleaning or nourishing or learning.
These things will always require our TIME and will cause an emptiness when neglected.

I don't even think you will ever have enough money that you can negate your responsibility to be a steward for what you have.  

These are just the daily tasks of life.  Tasks that we accomplish because we are DOING them, not because we are ever FINISHING them.

It may get old for you to hear me say it, but, we are lucky to be alive and blessed to feel overwhelmed.

I am busy!  I don't have the time or money or ability to do all that I wish I could-- and that feel AMAZINGLY normal!!

I'm SO grateful to be here.
One step at a time, one load of laundry at a time, one more night with my adorably imperfect husband, one more lesson with my impulsively active child.

My kitchen counter is messy again!
My windows are fingerprinted and my puppy is chewing another shoe.
I'm a bit too snippy with my tired husband.
I do not cuddle with Eve at bedtime.
I'm a bit too upset with grey paint dripped onto nice jeans.
I let Ben fuss too long in his messy diaper.

There were a lot of great things crammed in there too!
I collected, sorted, washed, dried and folded all but two loads of laundry.
I took the time to teach Leah to respect other's property, to say your sorry, and to make it better.
I made dinner and spent one on one time with Lily.
My kids are outside, working hard, with things that are real.
We ate dinner together as a family.
I bathed my four youngest.
I worked, I laughed, I loved, I learned... I am still healing and ever learning.

And- that means I'm normal.
It also means I'm ALIVE!
Thank God I'm alive for normal.
Life is so good.

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