June 19, 2014

When my job is Poo-y

Yes, my life these days is documented only by blurry iPhone pictures.
Someday I may regret this.
Someday I may be grateful for each blurry iPhone picture.
Today, blurry iPhone pictures accurately capture my reality.
I love them.
Oh- my yard is bursting with white and now deep pink peonies.
I adore peonies.
I also have many rose bushes.
Pink and red.
Roses are so vibrantly colored.
I didn't think I liked roses, but the bursts if color in my landscaping makes me happy.
I love color.
I often pinch myself thinking- I live here!!
My baby cows are adorable and hard to find in the pasture.
Can you see them?
I love to hear their hungry moo's as it gets later in the evening.
I love to watch Drew and another sibling preparing bottles to care for their animals.
This is a good life.
Ben is messy and loves to feed himself.
Yesterday a shovel worked better than a broom to clean under his highchair.
Oh my.
I made these curtains when we were first married.
They were the first things I ever sewed that were usuable.
I remember standing in line for a huge sale at JoAnne's, holding my fabric to be cut.  So many people commented on how much they liked my fabric.

After they cut it for me, they handed me the receipt.  Even with 60% off the fabric was still way more expensive than we could afford.  Ahh!! I didn't know what to do, so I paid and brought it home to Todd thinking these had better be the best curtains ever.

I just tacked them up to see if I like them.  I don't love the fabric or style these days- but I love the history and sentiment behind them.

We'll see if they win me over, or if I decide to make some new curtains.
Decisions- decisions.
I have no pictures of my real accomplishment yesterday.
I totally cleaned my garage!!
I added a book shelf for my mountain of shoes and I love it!!
My kids spent the afternoon in the pool.
My five year old may or may not have left some poo in my ool.  
Ewe.  At least it was solid.

She sobbed that she didn't know what to do because she didn't want to come inside with a wet swim suit.
Some decisions ARE hard.
I assured her that poo in the ool was worse than wet swimsuit on my floor.
Poo is worse than water, dear Lily.
Next time!

Lily cried again when Eve was the princess at dinner.  We all go around and say why we love Eve.  I said "I love Eve because she doesn't poop in my pool."  Lily sobbed because I was making fun of her.  Poor thing.  Mean mommy.

My blog-time is up this morning.

Here is my grand thought for the day--

This morning Ben was fussy.  I didn't know why.  My natural tendency was to get frustrated with him, or just set him down.  Nothing I was trying seemed to comfort him and I was up to my eyeballs in outfit and hair drama.

Todd noticed him grunting.  We realized he was trying to poop and having some trouble.  Poor fella was a bit constipated this morning (he usually runs in the other direction).

I held him for some time (a long time), just being a shoulder to lean on while he cried and pushed.  I thought- this is why I'm here. My job isn't to fix everything- just to comfort them while they work things out for themselves.  I'm their soft place.  I'm their encouragement.  I'm their confidence and assurance that they're doing great, even when life hurts or is scary. 

I got a C this morning.
I was there for Ben and I was average or a smidge above average for the rest.

Lily was excited for her butterfly play this morning- we got her all butterflied up, and dealt with a little extra emotion as she interacted with Eve (who was also excited about butterflies.)

Ellie and Anna had Field Day today.
I was patient as Ellie fumed about not having anything to wear.  (Field Day was supposed to be yesterday but got postponed and now she didn't have another blue outfit to wear.)

Anna was a bit cranky sharing her clothes with Ellie.  I was strict with Anna. It wasn't until she broke down in tears about a presentation she was supposed to give at school (hers was 9 minutes instead of 5 minutes), that I realized- she's working on her own poop.  (If you know what I mean.)

Todd and I worked together calming the storm-- many times during the morning I looked at him so grateful for his partnership and cute fathering skills.  But, I turned away when he tried to hug me as he left for work.  I just felt too stressed to connect.

Why?  I'm sorry I turned away.  I think I was in mother-work-mode and I didn't realize that he needed a little nurturing too.  That I needed to let him nurture me.

Being a mother of many means that I am being molded into one who nurtures.
I am learning to loose myself in the service of others.

Even when I'm just a "C" mother, I can see the "A" mother that I want to be.
My daily practice sessions ARE working and so are theirs.
Line upon line.

I want to nurture better, to love more, to teach by example, to comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to mourn with those that mourn.

I'm learning.
They're learning.
This is a great work!
Life is good.
("I feel lazy like a bear when... I clean up my whole house, it is a mess." Lily, age 5)


Anonymous said...

Thank you for your honesty. You give me the push to be a better me tomorrow or even later today. :)

Amber said...

totally crazy!! my 2 yob goes through about 3 outfits a day, he loves to either pull his thing out of his diaper and pee all over himself or just pull his diaper all the way off altogether, he's the first of 8 to do this and I have to find a onesie every time he needs to be changed from being so dirty getting into things or diaper leakage, so I totally get the poo thing, my husband laughed at me this afternoon trying to catch the naked baby running away from me after pooing in our kiddie pool and then taking off his swim diaper, it's just part of being a mom and it is all worth it, but so nice to hear I'm not alone!! cause 8 is crazy and awesome and unique!

Amber said...
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