April 01, 2015

I Believe in Healing

Amazing grace! how sweet the sound, 
That saved a wretch like me! 
I once was lost, but now am found, 
Was blind, but know I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, 
And grace my fears relieved; 
How precious did that grace appear, 
The hour I first believed.

Thro' many dangers, toils, and snares, 
I have already come; 
'Tis grace have bro't me safe thus far, 
And grace will lead me home.

I'm laying here in bed, the morning of my 38th birthday.  I feel awake and excited for this day, I feel grateful for the man whose legs and dreams intertwine with my own.  I'm awake at this early hour in some risidual abdominal pain, my legs are tingly and numb, and I spend some quality pondering time in the bathroom.  Today my mind and my soul are burning with a testimony of healing.

Have you ever learned something so powerful and beautiful that you wanted to shout it from the rooftops?  I have.  My whole blog has always been my great yawp to the world.  Yet, never before have I felt something so deeply and been so inadequate to express myself.

I recently offended someone I love dearly.  It was her birthday and as I sat pondering her life I was SO, SO proud of her.  This lady is AMAZING.  More amazing than anyone would see by looking at her.  (Isn't everybody?)  

I actually had tears in my eyes as I wrote a Facebook message to her.  I mentioned that she didn't graduate highschool but went on to graduate college with a 4.0.  Amazing.  That she went from being a single mother to creating and building the most beautiful family.  

Looking back, I see that I really should have been more considerate.  Not everyone wants their past broadcast to the world.  I feel sorry I wasn't more sensitive on social media.  (I really am missing the social media privacy mindset.)

But, I can't stop thinking about her.  I can't stop thinking about all of us!  Our ability to heal absolutely astounds me.  If you knew her story, you would be as proud of her as I am.  We all have a story.

(I'm certain that these things wake me up in the middle of the night because my mind is still trying to heal this relationship.  My soul is seeking to learn the art of healing not hurting communication.  I am still learning.  Many of my relationships are still healing.  This is a raw and beautiful process.)

Months ago I started a blog series on healing where I tried to explain the many different aspects to healing that I see.  Again, my words were offensive to some.  I really, really believe that healing is multi-faceted.  We ALL know this is true and yet we build walls and choose teams.

We have those who seek medical healing, educational healing, spiritual healing, and emotional healing.  These teams often fight against each other instead of work with each other.  People gasp if I dare to suggest that obesity takes education to heal or that our sexuality is something that we need to heal.  And fangs come out if I dare insinuate that medication is not the end all, cure all.  Suggest that some healing requires medication or that too much medication hinders healing and then I am labelled as one who does not understand physical illness or is judging you in your need for medication.  Medication is as heated as the idea of faith and healing.  Boy oh boy!  Emotions pulse through these tender splinters in our souls.

Choice is a very offensive word as we talk about healing.  There is a difference, in my mind, from saying we can choose healing and saying it is our fault that we need healing.  How can we feel the power in our ability to choose while at the same time keeping the relief that comes when we accept that it's not our fault?  Even if it IS our fault, grace covers our blame.  Blame and choice don't have to be the same team.  They are actually working against each other in our quest for healing.

I absolutely feel that until we all kneel in the presence of our Creator, we may never be fully healed.  Illness is a combination of genetic predispositions, consequences from poor choices, consequences from good choices, experiences given to us to strengthen us, tragedies, results of the poor choices or illnesses of others, etc.  I believe in angels who help us heal as surely as I believe in devils who afflict and torment man.  No, I don't think radiation is the only unseen power that influences our health.  I don't believe a mother's choices during pregnancy affect her child's health any more or less than a father's choices after birth.

The things we need to heal from are as varied as the places we can find healing.  

There are people with very visible needs for healing and there are people whose need for healing is private.  

I am continually surprised at the intense healing that surrounds me.  From a distance I see many people whose lives appear healthy and stable.  The closer I get to anyone, the more intimately I know their story, the more I feel their individual healing miracles.  I really believe there is more equality in this mortal testing than we can sometimes imagine.

I believe that healing is a proactive, hopeful, ACT of grace, patience, and daily inspiration.  

I'm not sure we can accurately diagnose any affliction-- I'm similarly unsure that we always know how or when we are healed.   

I think healing and hurting are natural cycles of life, we naturally eb and flow with tides, we are yin and yang, light and darkness, good and evil, sickness and health.  It is beautiful.

I'm even offensive in my idea of what we need to heal from.  I lump sexual abuse right in with diabetes, obesity, addiction, broken bones, and sin.  Gasp!  Because I believe that sin is as cureable and unavoidable as broken bones, my whole soul believes in a Savior who heals us physically, spiritually, and emotionally with the same power.  

2 And, behold, they brought to him a man sick of the palsy, lying on a bed: and Jesus seeing their faith said unto the sick of the palsy; Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee. 
3 And, behold, certain of the scribes said within themselves, This man blasphemeth. 
4 And Jesus knowing their thoughts said, Wherefore think ye evil in your hearts? 
5 For whether is easier, to say, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and walk? 
6 But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (then saith he to the sick of the palsy,) Arise, take up thy bed, and go unto thine house. 
7 And he arose, and departed to his house. 
8 But when the multitudes saw it, they marvelled, and glorified God, which had given such power unto men. 
(New Testament, Matthew, Matthew 9)

I absolutely marvel and glorify my God who has given such power unto his children.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE IN GOD TO FEEL HIS HEALING TOUCH IN YOUR LIFE.

Because of Him we can find peace, joy, and healing in this life and in the world to come.

We can heal FROM our afflictions (oh how divinely designed our human bodies are) and we can find healing IN our afflictions.

No amount of learning, choosing, medicating, or praying will ever release us from this very mortal experience.  Our life here is divinely designed to be educational.  We can't pray away weeds, natural man tendencies, genetics, childhood, or the fact that we live in a beautiful, messed up world.  The only release we will ever really get, is death and resurrection.  All healing comes from God. Until that day, we must do the best we can with what we have.  We practice proactive patience and we celebrate growth and healing by the inch not the mile.  We seek healing because it is in the healing that we come to know the Healer.  

2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? 
3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him. (New Testament, John, John 9)
I see God's works manifest in me.
I see God's works manifest in my friends.
I see men and women in this world with great gifts to heal. 
I see men and women in this world with great gifts to be healed.
I see great suffering and great relief.
I know the act of cracking out of our individual shells truely does create the strength we need to fly!
I see you flying or almost flying!
There are so many paths toward the healing potential that is within you!

Dear friends, there are just a few things I know.

I know that this life is all about healing and learning, testing and growth.

I know that we are known, loved, and supported moment by moment.

Nothing will surprise us more than when we get to heaven and see the Father and realize how well we know Him and how familiar His face is to us.

I know that our minds and our bodies are strong and powerful.  We are capable of healing!!!  We are capable of gracefully enduring all that we cannot heal.

We are being guided and directed on our own individual healing journeys.  

We are the "certain man who fell amoung theives" and all around us we will encounter those good Samaritans who will aid us in our healing journey and then we will be the Good Samaritan to the next person we see amoung theives.  Healing is as contagious as sickness.

Scientists may look at dead bones and see evidence of evolution that seems to disprove a divine Creator.  I look at our living bodies, I experience healing over and over and over again, and I SEE God. I see a body that is intricately designed to heal and I see divine parentage.

Today I celebrate my body which has served me incredibly over the past 38 years.  I am not 38, but my body is.

Today I celebrate my my mother and father who worked with God to create my body years ago.  

Today I celebrate the many, many beautiful healing friends who have blessed my life.  I wouldn't be here without you.

Today I testify to you that we are designed to heal!  Men are designed to feel JOY- physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee!
How great Thou art, how great Thou art.

43 ¶And a woman having an issue of blood twelve years, which had spent all her living upon physicians, neither could be healed of any, 
44 Came behind him, and touched the border of his garment: and immediately her issue of blood stanched. 
45 And Jesus said, Who touched me? When all denied, Peter and they that were with him said, Master, the multitude throng thee and press thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me? 
46 And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me. 
47 And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she came trembling, and falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately. 
48 And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace. 
(New Testament, Luke, Luke 8)

Today I am grateful and hopeful.
My life is a testament to both suffering and deliverance.
I am equally grateful for the opportunities I have had to learn the need for healing as I am humbled by the absolute healing I have been blessed to experience.

I believe in your ability to heal.
YOU have a strong mind and a strong body.
You are being blessed and guided towards joy.  Listen as you walk.  Watch for Him in the throngs.  Reach out!  Our faith, His virtue, their skill, in time, will make us whole.
Lift up your head and rejoice!

Today I am alive, getting older, and grateful.
Thanks for walking with me on this healing journey.
Life is good!  I know it.


Stephanie said...

Happy birthday, Jenifer! I don't know you personally, but you have inspired me so much! I have always admired your courage for sharing your convictions and testimony. I love all of your insights about healing. To me, it is so beautiful and compassionate to consider that everyone around us is healing in some way or another. Thank you for all that you share and for your openness! God bless you and your entire family!!!

Brooke said...

Happy birthday! I love this post, I love you, and I love your testimony!

jenifer said...

Thanks Stephanie! He has.

Gene said...

NOT ONLY ARE YOU A Talented writer, but you are great at sharing your testimony. Love you, love your family. May The Lord's Blessings be with you always and may your body continue to heal as you carry out your great responsibilities as a Mother in Zion & in Tully!

ashley said...

I needed this today. I love your words, and you! I hope your birthday was marvelous. Your spring break trips indeed seemed both bold and life-changing. So glad you're here.


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