i bought some yarn today.
it's in my blood.
my grandma crocheted.
and so, i am compelled.
i was their first granddaughter.
and, even though my parents split when i was three, i always felt loved by many.
one way i can still feel my grandma's love, is through the things she made.
yes, i have an afghan... i wish i had understood when she gave it to me the hours and hours she spent crocheting, thinking about me, loving me.
i understand now, and i'm so grateful.
i think she knows.
today, my babies wear the sweaters that i used to wear.
when i see them, i feel her love.
when i hold my babies in her stitches, i feel that she loves them too.
and so, i begin my afghan.
as i stitch i think that life is short, but family is forever.
someday, when i'm gone my blanket may comfort those i love... a physical reminder of the love i will still feel.
because... granny squares they are real, touchable, and see-able.
my grandma's love for me, it's real too.
i can remember it, i can touch it through the memories she has left, and yet, i feel it still.
i know she knows me now. she knows my children. she knows the children who are waiting to come to my family.
a grandmother's love is more real than afghans, but somehow, being able to touch the button she sewed on just for me, that helps me to remember.
because tomorrow i want you to know, that i lived, i loved and i will love you still.