this is the place?.

it was so fun visiting with the Brobergs while the professor interviewed at Wichita State in Kansas.  aren't they adorable?

look at all those kids!

this is the small town where we broke down.  oh what a day!

this was the NICE motel.

see, it has arches...

and semi-clean beds...

even after getting our fuel filter changed, our car still stopped every six miles...  once, right in front of Happy.  too bad we missed the exit.  :)

i spent a lot of time thinking last night, and this is my conclusion...
life is never "easy" for long.
there is always something.
there is no perfect place to live and no perfect situation...
lubbock has not been perfect... but it has been great.
BECAUSE... we KNEW we were supposed to be here.
i knew from the moment we first entered Lubbock, this is where we would be.

Right now, I have complete confidence that there is somewhere we are supposed to be next year.
I am ever so patiently waiting for that confirmation to come.
And, when we feel the peace, it overrides the worry...

so...  the professor is still applying for jobs, and we are ever so patiently awaiting real job offers, and i've traded my dreams of a white farmhouse and horses for dreams of a definite "this is the place" feeling.


my friend maria had an ancestor who walked west pushing a handcart with the mormon pioneers.
when she finally entered the valley and knew she had arrived, she pushed her handcart over the edge of the mountain and said, "i never want to see the damned thing again."
isn't that funny?!
i'm afraid i'm going to have to have a symbolic handcart demolition...
maybe i'll throw a student loan bill... maybe a medicaid card... maybe my nasty double stroller that i have had since jakob and drew...
oh, that's good.  i'm totally going to push my double stroller over the mountain's edge. 
when i arrive.
and i'll tell you when i'm there.
you know,
that place.
the place that has been prepared for us and our gang.
the place that feels like home, even though i can't find the wal-mart.
and, i'm going to buy one shirt (or maybe a dress), full price at target.
just because i can.
i used to dream of banana republic and ann taylor.
today, full price at target... someday.
when i'm "there".

till then, i've got LOTS of laundry, and pta stuff, and Halloween costumes to rock and roll on...
enjoy your Friday!
jen

ps.  Hi Shelly!  Um, totally NOT rock star.  more like "crazy momma with tons of kids" come to visit.  isn't tiffany great?  i say, she's better than prosac.  one nice thing about living in Wichita would be living near our good friends... tiffany has a way of making you feel great even when your silly 2 year old is attacking her son. 
yes, my kids have all loved to taunt... and, they are pros.  sorry spencer.  (that's from me, not lily... she's still on the bench refusing to say the word sorry... but, hang in there, she'll be darling when your home from your mission.  and, i'm totally a fan of arranged marriages... just so you know.)