thinking... again.

:: THINKERS::  i once heard a talk radio host receive a compliment.  he responded with a comment where he said something like, "don't think that i have it all together, i am really a tormented soul who is continually mulling over the world's problems.  i am haunted by all that i see that is in disarray.  talking on the radio is a form of therapy to me."  i related to that man.  i am a thinker and an analyzer.  most of the time my mental energy leads to goodness and growth.  sometimes, it leaves me thinking up at night trying to shut it off.  it is who i am... and i can relate to that poor tormented radio host.  :)

::  DREW::  drew is 10.  i love that kid.  the other day he was getting dressed and put on a pair of khaki cargo pants, i thought he had worn the same pants the day before.  i encouraged him to change and he said, "No Mom, i have two pair and they just look the same."  I said, "Drew, even if they're clean people will think you're wearing the same clothes."  He put on his corduroy jacket, buttoned it up and said confidently, "Mom, don't worry.  This is my STYLE!!"  Tonight at dinner he said, "When i grow up i'm going to do survival shows as my hobby."  (He loves man vs. wild and things like that.)  Today my kids spent the whole day coming up with their own languages.  It's cute.  Drew kept saying 'Drew Rocks' in his language.  (Todd doesn't like when the boys say arrogant things so he said if he heard them saying they were awesome they would have to clean my floor.)  i said in pig latin, "Drew Rocks at cleaning my floor."  The kids laughed.  i LOVE being a mom.

:: LILY::  we got new down comforters for the girls.  last night lily woke up all sweaty.  she came upstairs and said, "mom, my jammies are all wet because i was sleeping too long."  she's so cute.  this was her first week in primary with me... she has graduated from nursery to the 3 year old class.  the whole time she kept waving at me with her pointer finger.  love, love her.

:: WISE WORDS::  went to a friend's house tonight.  they are GREAT parents with great kids.  at the end of the night we were talking and the father said to me that if he had to do it over again he would love more and not sweat the small things.  he remembers fighting with a teenage son about shaving and keeping his hair short.  it was a big deal.  today he says, it shouldn't have been a big deal.  oh how my soul loved hearing that advice.  i really want to love more.  the relationship really is the most important.  thanks for the great reminder!!  i LOVE wise people.

:: REST::  last night i was exhausted.  i thought it was due to a baby that doesn't sleep, full holiday days, and lots of kids.  i put all my kids to bed early (by 6pm-- it is pitch black here by 5pm, and the older kids could read in their beds).  I straightened up and then spent the evening reading scriptures and inspirational talks.  I was planning a lesson for church this morning and i just felt so FED.  My note pad was overflowing with inspiration and ideas.  I have lots of ideas for blogs i want to write and goals i want to set and things i'm going to do different in my family.  My soul was filled.  And, I didn't get to bed early, my baby still woke up four times last night, but i felt RESTED.  oh, why do i forget that HE will give me rest.  Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and i shall give you rest... always.  He gives me rest.  i am grateful. 

:: HELLO FRIENDS!::  follow me here...  tonight, we went to our friend's house.  and, their Aunt Amy was visiting.  Amy said she has a friend in Canada who reads my blog.  Isn't that fun?!!  So, HELLO to Amy's friend in Canada!!  Nice to meet you.  Amy is amazing, huh?!  (She's a superstar artist.)  And, her brother's family-- i love them.  i want to be like them.  i would give them one of my children to raise for a few years.  seriously.  Amy said her Canadian friend has a large family and lives in a small town.  I loved learning that.  Isn't it fun having friends that you don't even know about?

:: COMMENTS::  i always wonder who reads my blog (besides grandma).  i'm sure there is a way to figure it out but i'm not technically savvy like that.  so, if you read and you want to say Hi and let me know how you found this blog, feel free.  i LOVE reading comments.  is it bad to admit that sometimes when i write a blog that i really care about i have to check back every few minutes to see if anyone else understands what i'm trying to say.  even though i like reading comments and meeting people who read this blog, i feel a bit lame admitting it. 

:: ONE MORE DAY::  my kids go back to school on Tuesday.  i had great plans to CLEAN UP Christmas tomorrow with everyone's help.  tonight after family prayer we were just laughing and talking and i was still mulling over the wise advice i had received and i knew...  i have one more day.  one more day to love them up.  to be a fun mom.  to build the relationship.  tomorrow, maybe we'll put away Christmas.  maybe, i'll do my month grocery trip.  but maybe, maybe i'll spend the day just enjoying them and loving them and playing with them and letting them know that one person in this world thinks they are great.  we'll see.

:: GIRLS CAMP::  i've been a leader of youth for years.  Cub Scouts, Seminary, Young Women and now Primary.  I'm really good at teaching and leading and having fun with kids.  I'm positive and funny and can keep things in perspective.  at home, sometimes i am the strict, nagging, disciplinary mother.  sometimes i am two different people-- the fun girls camp, seminary teacher and the strict, disappointed mother.  i want to be the GIRLS CAMP leader mother.  is that possible?  i want to be fun and funny and inspiring and cool-- with MY kids, not just other people's kids.  just saying.

:: FOOLISH::  today i was teaching about the wise man and the foolish man.  we talked about how you build your house on a rock and how you build on the sand.  you know when you teach something that you don't know and you're like, "Wow, that's really neat."  And you know that you were inspired.  Well, that happened to me.  I said something like, "Nobody ever WANTS to build their house on sand.  Building on the sand happens when we don't look for the rock.  When we aren't purposefully trying to build on the rock, our house ends up being built on the sand."  We talked about how you can build your day on the sand... when you wake up and get dressed and start your day.  You have to consciously CHOOSE to build on the ROCK by starting your day with prayer and scriptures.  i LOVE that idea.  BUILDING ON THE ROCK takes deliberate CHOICE.  You don't have to choose to build on sand.

:: PRAYER::  i heard a great talk on prayer today.  i specifically liked two quotes.  1.  don't pray like you are ordering a pizza.  2.  When i pray, i imagine that i am climbing a marble staircase and kneeling before my Maker.  loved those images.  tonight i'm going to pray better.  AND, todd and i have gotten lazy in our night time couple prayer.  tonight we're going to be better.

::  KINDNESS::  in another talk, a sweet sister told of her aunt that was in a coma for a few weeks.  just prior to her death she was conscious enough to talk for a short time.  while her family was around her she spoke of seeing her husband, who had passed on before.  she said, "BE KIND TO EACH OTHER, EVEN MORE THAN YOU ARE NOW."  Shortly after that she passed away.  i love that thought.  i want it stitched across my forehead.

::  THANK YOU!!::  my sweet, bloggy friend, Heather sent me the quote-- "TIE ON YOUR BONNET, SISTER. WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT TO ZION!"  I have it in my kitchen and smile every time i read it.  Thanks Heather (if you even made it through this random post).  i love heading to Zion with all of you!

:: HOME::  my mother in law told me that she used to have a quote hanging in her kitchen that said, "Home- where you grumble the most and are treated the best."  i want that hanging in my kitchen too...  and i HOPE it is true.  i hope my kids are treated the best at home. 

that's all my ramblings. 
i'm committing myself to a more refined blog this year.
more editing.
more thoughtful entries.
less complaining.
less rambling.

it's January first and i'm only one post behind.  :)
tomorrow i'll be more refined in my posting. 
promise.  i hope.
happy new year!!