Boy, Ben is a fussy camper.
He isn't sleeping well, so he is tired.
(I'm a big believer in sleep!)
Maybe it's his 4 teeth coming through, maybe it's a bit of a tummy bug, maybe he just needs mom-time.
I love to drink in his beauty.
His sweaty, curly hair is darling.
His skin glows.
He has the cutest rolls and sweet little ears, lips, and nose.
And those big boy teeth.
I write the same blog everyday.
It's the cup half full blog.
I don't love this stage of frustration as Ben wishes he could move and do more than he is able, but I do love baby.
I can't have one without the other.
Eve is perfectly, independently three.
She is prococious and adorable- fiercely independent and into mischief.
Jakob leads the pack at 15. How I love 15, he's helpful, kind, wise and hard working. Sometimes he's overwhelmed, hungry, tired and rude.
I have eight... I could go on and on.
They each frustrate and inspire me at the same time.
Today- my cup runneth over.
I'm choosing to love my work.
My sister in law shared an interesting comment with me yesterday. Something like, the purpose of church is to love and serve imperfect people. We can be holy by ourselves- but true holiness is learning to love in a community.
How this mirrors family! Family helps us learn to love imperfect people. Family brings hard and joy.
Isn't that interesting?
I've often thought being a monk would be easy! I don't think I'd ever loose my temper if I were never with other people. I wouldn't be worldly if I sold all I had and wore brown robes.
It's loving imperfect people that's hard.
It's herding the young and teaching again and again and again. Teaching with patience, kindness, and joy.
Today so many people talk about being who we are. We downplay the role of self-mastery as we herald self-discovery.
There is a Book of Mormon scripture that I love, Alma 38:12 it says, "and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love".
I believe our passions do not condemn us. Our passions are natural- just like mischief in a three year old, or fussiness in a baby, or sassiness in a teen. We are all young and learning. Passions are part of this equation. Passion is good! Passions are not our curse, they are our gifts.
But, of course they must be bridled. Bridle our passions so we can be filled with love!!
Somehow in life we learn (hopefully) not to tantrum when we're tired or in pain. We learn to go to sleep or take an Advil.
We learn to ask permission before we explore and to protect the wood floor before we splash around in the sink. Hopefully as we grow we learn that we are not the smartest people we know, and we learn to discuss without disagreeing. Bridling all of our passions takes time, growth and effort.
Being a mother of many is teaching me how to bridle.
Some days I'm better than others.
I have not learned HOW to bridle my passions perfectly, yet.
But, I have learned that it is GOOD to try.
Oh the hypocrisy of parents (myself included) who respond in unbridled ways as they try to teach their 30 years younger children to bridle. Um, we cannot expect them to speak respectfully when they are mad- if we don't speak respectfully when we are mad. Duh. Darn it. It is easy to judge others it is harder to bridle ourselves (especially those of us with great passionate souls)!
Free expression of your passion does not lead to joy.
Joy comes when you choose to be kind when you are angry, choose to be patient when you are frustrated, choose to embrace when you are tired, choose to endure when you're overwhelmed.
"see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love"
Look around, you will not find happiness in those who simply indulge. You will see wisdom and deep contentment in a happily bridled soul.
Yup- I have a house full of unbroken yearlings. They are adorable, good, and learning.
I like their spunk and I believe they can be happiest as they are gently bridled.
Not changed- just tamed.
See- I suppose I am a mother/horse-whisperer.
I am trying to be the lead mare- I want momma to be happy so everyone can be happy.
Excuse me while I stick a bit in my mouth, I need a "bit" more practice!