Real?

My life is an odd twilight zone life.

Do you ever ask yourself what is real?

Why is it so easy to be fooled?

I'll be honest with you, even though it embarrasses me and shows my weakest parts.

Sometimes my pride keeps me from loving others.  Sometimes I'm embarrassed at the clothes my children have, the size of my family, the behavior of my kids, the sharpie marker on my couches. 

Sometimes I'm embarrassed that my life seems too put together or not put together enough.  Isn't it funny that in the same day I want to apologize for how perfect and imperfect my family seems?  Ha!

Sometimes I yearn for more hours in the day, more money, a more decorated home, children who were more kind to each other or more respectful to me, time to relax or party or pamper.  Sometimes I look around and swell with gratitude for all that we have.  Mine is not a pampered life and yet I live a very pampered life.

Sometimes I see new boots at the mall and just want to go shopping to buy myself the cutest things.  I wanted new boots, even though I have a brown and a black pair of boots that look new.  It's silly.

This weekend I visited a widow who lived content with hardly anything.  I sat in her humble apartment on a plastic lawn chair.  She told me about her alarm clock that broke weeks ago that she missed because she used to love to wake up early.  I wanted to buy her food.  To give her a new lamp to light her room.  She told me she had one outfit to wear to church and was teased by some that she  looked like a clown in bright colors.  I wanted to give her one of the 20 outfits I have for church.  I felt humble and ashamed of my pride.

Sometimes I ache that I am not a better mother.  We all do.  I ache that I have so many children I can't love them like a mother could who had only one or two.  (Eight is a lot of kids.)

This past week I walked by a home with a door ajar.  I saw a frustrated father handle his young son harshly.  As he dropped his crying baby to the floor in exasperation, I couldn't help but enter the room and scoop up the baby.  I offered to help for a moment, but I think the man thought I was crazy.  Although I continued on my way, that boy and his father have stayed in my heart and mind. How I ache for frustrated, tired parents and their innocent young children.  

I had a friend over the other day.  As I was gooing over baby Ben she asked, "Were you like that with all your kids?"  I didn't know what she was talking about. 

I asked, "Do you mean did I love them all this much?"  She nodded and I said confidently,  "Yes.  Yes I did."

My children are blessed.  Of course they are.  I am rich and still embarrassed.  My children are so good and still have so much to learn.  We all do.  Our days are full of goodness and yet we still ache to do more to be better.  It is ridiculous.

My time is up.  I have a hungry baby and a toddler who need me.

I have no great conclusion to this post other than I am embarrassed.  

I prayed this weekend for more.  I prayed that as Thanksgiving and Christmas approached I would be blessed.  I prayed that His will would be my will.  God blessed me with eyes to see just how much I have.  He showed me people grateful for so much less.

It is ridiculous that I can have hundreds of dollars to spend on food each month and ever feel that I have nothing to cook for dinner.  Shame on me.

Today I am grateful for what is real.  

How on Earth do I keep this perspective?

We all live a Twilight Zone life and it is good.

(This blog post drives me crazy.  I really shouldn't post on Mondays.)

Ps- eve took a "really big" bath while I was writing this post.  And then she put on her panties all by herself.

I love two.

Friday.

While I was showering, Eve "wiped baby Benny."

I love her.  And this cute guy...

(See his blurry legs-- he's a mover.)

I'm always impressed with my kids.  They are really good at things.  Jakob watched a you tube and just carved this swan out of an apple.  Isn't that fun?!

My head is swimming with plans for thanksgiving and Christmas.

Today I want to clean and decorate my whole house, mop  and organize my garage (yes, really), finish organizing my toy room, finishing pulling all the dead flowers out of my outside flowerpots, and then start cutting out a quilt with my girls after school.  We'll see how that goes...  (Please don't remind me of all the posts I wrote about keeping my To Do list small.  Thank you.)

Someday I will blog about all the things I love about my new house.  I really love it here.  The previous owners were good people and you can feel their touch all around.  I'm so grateful for them.

Just a few things I love...

Can you see that cute bridge?  I want to paint it white, and I love it.

Do you know what this is?

It's a cup holder- for little plastic mouth rinsing cups.

The previous owners left one in every bathroom.  At first I thought they were too country for me.  But, I have grown to love them.  My little ones drink all day long!  I need to fill them back up today because they are so well used.  

I smile every time I see 20 plastic cups deliberately arranged around my sink.

Know what that is?

My new favorite...

Built in ironing board.  Love it.

(I had Eve all dressed and it looks like she has changed into her Christmas pjs.)

Every bathroom has built-in blow driers.

Pretty neat.

And, I am loving these hooks in every closet.  There are two hooks on either side of Anna and Ellie's closet.  They can hang their towels and pjs there.

We have hooks in our closet too.  It is so nice to hang my pajamas really fast in the morning.  She used a lot of hooks and they're handy I tell you.

This is my needing to be mopped and organized garage.  It is beautiful and I love it.  I actually use some of those shelves for food because we don't have a walk-in pantry.  This house has great storage.  

Love this stained glass window in my kitchen bathroom.  (Perfect place for Leah to store her favorite toothpaste and toothbrush.)

See- another empty cup holder.  My kids love these things.

See that?  

It's a central vacuum.  I love it- although I still haven't figured out how to empty it.  I even have a vacuum port in my garage!

Don't love my fireplace mantel... I think this is ugly.  I want to build something beautiful here someday.  Short term I want to move the clock over our piano and redecorate the fireplace part...  This is one of my many To Do's.

See.  I think I want to move the clock to the left so we can see it from the kitchen and so the kids can see it while they practice.  This is a hard wall to figure out.

I LOVE this print that my friend sent me (thanks heather)!  I want it huge on top of the fireplace- I think.

Maybe I'll add, build a new mantel to today's To Do.  Ha!

Ok- last one, I promise.

See this little door?  It's in my master bedroom next to Ben's changing table.  Yes, Ben us with us too, for now.

There are at least four of these little storage rooms hidden around my house. They all have drywall and carpet scraps and slanted roofs.  They are wonderful!  I store all my fabric and individual file boxes of special things I save for each kid each year in this one, extra picture frames and decorating stuff in another, extra blankets and pillows for movie nights or company in another...  Love these!

And, the last thing I love is my own brilliant idea.  It is funny how much I love this silly thing.

When I get done shopping, I throw a bag of bags into my little storage area in my bedroom.  Every morning I grab a plastic bag and Eve and I empty all the trash upstairs before we come down.  I love it.

My trashcans are almost always empty and clean.  It's easy and starts my day with one small accomplishment.  Why do I find joy in empty trashcans, storage space and country cup dispensers?  I just don't know.

Time to start my day!!

Try to empty your trash cans first thing in the morning, see if it makes you happy.

Empty trash cans, shiny mirrors, clean sheets and vacuum lines are a few of my favorite things.

Ha!  Maybe you're weird like me.

Happy Friday!

(I know... Yucky iPhone pictures.  Just read this post on your phone and they will look crystal clear.  Ha!)

Chicken and a little beef.

Cold weather makes me want to cook soup.

I have never been a real soup cooker.

But, in my new life, I cook soup often.

I have two staples... Chicken Noodle and Beef Stew.  (OK, three.  I love potato soup too, but we aren't talking about that today.)

It seems like I should have made these more over the years.

Want to know a few things that I learned?

[Don't read this if you are a seasoned soup maker... I'm a beginner.]

Chicken Noodle

- If using frozen chicken, just boil a few breasts in water early in the day.  (I like to boil them with an onion for flavor and because I love onions lately.)  Let them cool and shred them with a fork.

-Don't throw away the water you boiled the chicken in.  Skim off any yucky stuff and use that as part of your stock (you can add bullion to flavor it more).

-Buy a big bag of big carrots.  Just do it. And, big onions and a few bunches of celery.

-My soup making SIL taught me to use a whole big onion and almost a whole bunch of celery.  When cutting celery, she just cuts off the bottom of the whole bunch and then keeps cutting little pieces.  So, instead of using individual stalks you are cutting the whole bunch of celery at one time- leaves and all.  (I use half and put half in a ziplock in the fridge.)

-Put a little olive oil or butter in the bottom of your soup pan and add the onions and celery.  Cook them till they're clear and the bottom of the pan gets brown.  I love this step.  That brown stuff gets extra good flavor.

[-I made extra good (super easy) stroganoff by caramelizing onions, mushrooms and peppers and then just adding a jar of Alfredo sauce with sour cream.  I served it over brown rice.  Mmmm.]

-I like to mix boxed chicken stock with cheaper bullion (or homemade).  Just add the juice to the onions/celery and scrape off the stuff on the bottom.  Then, I add the chicken and carrots.  I just leave that cooking until ten minutes before dinner and then I add the noodles.

-Go ahead, make a batch of egg noodles.  Easy.  It takes two minutes, they are simple.  Eggs, milk, salt and flour.  Cut them with a pizza cutter and throw them in once your veggies are all soft.  Homemade noodles are so good.

-We love to eat chicken noodle soup served over mashed potatoes.  Mmmm.  My Idaho in-laws taught me to use evaporated milk for thick, creamy mashed potatoes.

-If you want creamy soup add half and half or cream.  You can add a can of cream of chicken soup.  

-I love the Pioneer Woman's chicken and dumpling soup... It's creamy and has corn meal dumplings in it.  (No need for rolls, noodles or potatoes with that one.)

-You need bread with soup, especially if you don't have noodles or mashed potatoes.  So buy a fancy loaf, make soup the day you make bread or make your favorite rolls.  They aren't hard.  Cornbread is an easy side if yeast scares you.  I want to find a really great biscuit.  Anyone have a favorite recipe?  I just started making 71 Toes Flatbread.  It's really quick and easy.  I use wheat flour, cut it into breadsticks and top it with butter and Parmesan.  Easy and it makes a simple soup fun to eat.  When all else fails, serve soup with crackers.  The kids love it!

Chicken Stock

-Yesterday I roasted a whole chicken (425* for about an hour and a half).  It was crispy and delicious.  (Put an onion inside, and butter, salt and pepper on the skin.) 

-Then, I took the juice and chicken bone carcass and put them in a big soup pot.  I filled the pot with water and boiled the chicken for two hours while I was cleaning up and putting the kids to bed.  My house smelled dreamy.  I turned off the pot and let it sit to cool off and right before bed I poured it into a colander that I set in a bowl to catch all the bones and skin.  Tah Dah!!!  Homemade Chicken Stock!!  It tasted good and looked real.  We just poured ours into a gallon freezer bag and plopped it into the freezer so it's fresh the next time I make soup.

I know?!  Why haven't I done this before?

Butternut Squash

[Want another random tip?  Do you love butternut squash?  I do.  But it is hard to cut.  I read this great idea-- today I just stuck my whole squash in the microwave and cooked it for ten minutes.  It was soft and easy to peel, but not fully cooked.  I peeled it, cut it into bite-sized pieces and cut up a Granny Smith apple.  I just put some butter in a frying pan and cooked the squash and apple for a few minutes.  So good.  Love that little side-dish.  Not sure I'll ever cut a hard squash again.  Love that microwave trick.]

Beef Stew

-Buy good stew meat.  You don't need a lot of meat even for a lot of people.  Freeze the meat in smaller bags.

-Here's the key I was missing.  Cook the onions and celery first.  Then, take them out and set them aside.  Add a little oil to your same pot and cook the stew meat.  

-When the meat is almost done cooking, throw in about 1/4 cup of flour.  It sticks to the meat and everything dries up.  Then add water with beef bullion (I like the wet bullion from Costco), and dump back in your pre-caramelized onion/celery mix. As the soup cooks it will thicken because of the flour.  Mine has never been lumpy.

-I like to add potatoes that I chop small but keep the skins on.  Sometimes I add a can of corn or frozen peas.   I really want to buy a parsnip to add- because that sounds cool.  Do you love barley?  I do.  Beef and barley stew sounds yum.  Throw in a cup of barley or rice and just let it cook.  Beef stew served over egg noodles sounds good, too.  

That's all folks.

It is SO fun for me to cook again.  Especially since there is snow on the ground in this neck of the woods.

Please share any soup tips you have!  

I'm smitten by the soup bug.

And, my husband is smitten by a little beef.  He thinks we should get miniature cows.  They really are so cute-- but really? Cows?!!! 

Life is delicious.

Jobs.

I only have a minute.

Really.

I'm feeling energetic to clean and head to library story time and maybe venture to BJs for a Thanksgiving shop.

We'll see...

I woke up at 5-ish this morning.  

I usually roll out of bed a few minutes before 6:30.

We have scripture time together at 6:30.

I'm usually trying to dress the younger girls (we pick clothes out the night before and lay them in the hallway so we don't wake Eve) and hurry them downstairs while Todd starts the older kids singing.

This morning I woke up early.

I lit the fire.

I studied my scriptures and prayed for each of my children individually.

I felt heaven near.

AND then, while my head was filled with sweet parenting inspiration, I spent 30 minutes stitching on my cross-stitch sampler.

That might not sound amazing to you, but it was.

I've been trying to figure out a way to stitch since I've been home.

My answer- wake up earlier.  I am not a morning person, but this morning was nice.

(I do nap in the afternoons!)

That isn't what I was going to talk to you about.

Here's an idea that worked well when I had my kids home for Veteran's Day.

Have your kids write their own job list!

We were having friends over that night.  I wanted my kids to spend the day doing good things but I didn't have the energy to come up with a great plan for each of them.

So, I told them each to write a list of things they were going to do that day and get it approved by me.

I encouraged them to have a balance between fun and work.

Their lists were darling.

They helped the younger kids write their lists and they spent their day doing good things.

Their lists were not what I would have chosen.  I loved how invested each kid was in his/her own list.

It was a bit messy.

Leah chose to organize the garage.  That was a job I never would have given her.  She did really, really great!

See the cute names she taped above each hook...

Anyway, hope your day is great!

Life is good.

Walk On!

Just make the next right choice.

It is so easy to get discouraged- especially on a Monday (or Tuesday) morning.

You stay up too late at night and wake up late and cranky.

Your house is a mess from a long weekend of creative kids.

You failed to plan and plan to fail.  

Laundry, maybe dishes, and a messy playroom await your attention.

I'm crankier when I don't feel good and I'm tired.

This weekend I was both.

My favorite moment of the weekend was Sunday dinner.

After calling the kids to come eat, for 20 minutes, they sat down in a super silly mood.

I was tired and not feeling well.

All I wanted was for them to finish eating, clean the kitchen, and go to sleep.  So that I could go to sleep.

One child missed the prayer- needing 25 minutes of coaxing to come to the table.

Three other children thought it was hilarious to snuff and snort their noses during the prayer.

After the "Amen", I quietly excused the three snorters from the table and told the fourth who missed prayer to wait till we were done eating.  (The more upset I get, the quieter I become, most of the time.)

The oldest of the sniffers asked what they did that was wrong.

I refused to engage.  He knew exactly why he was excused.

He asked if I wanted him to just let his nose run down his face during a prayer?

(Just so you know, we were not talking about a small snuffles.  These were synchronized snorts and giggles.)

I looked at him and whisper, "Put down your plate and leave the damn table."

Yes, I did say that word.

Not my proudest moment.

As this child left the table he said to his sisters, "I guess Mom thinks it's worse to snort during the prayer than it is to cuss at the table."

Hahaha.

I laughed.  (Of course a cussing mother is worse than snorting children.  Oops.)  I invited my children back to the table and we all had a do-over.  Honestly, I can handle silly kids... It wasn't them, it was me.

I'm not sure why I'm so tired lately.

I think it's because Todd was gone all week.  I did everything alone and then was ready for a long break.

I'm feeling the weight of Thanksgiving and Christmas fast approaching.

I have to budget again.

I hate budgeting.  I hate money.

I really shouldn't write blog posts on days that I'm pushing through...

I think, if you read through my blogs- you might find a pattern.  

Monday mornings are hard for me... It's my weekend hangover.

Once I do a quick clean up and hear my washing machine purring in the background, all will be well again.

Last week, I was listening to a Mormon channel broadcast on family councils.  The question was asked, what do you do when one of your children doesn't want to join your family council?

Both people answering questions said in unison- "Go forward with faith!"

And, that's what I'm trying to do.

Just keep on going forward, however slowly.  

One foot in front of the other.

I love that advice.

It echoes in my mind daily-  Go Forth With Faith!!

Walk on!!

Crankiness begs for you to disengage and wallow.  

Hide... Cuss... Feel sorry for yourself...

True rest comes from finishing the dishes, lovingly tucking your children in bed, falling on your knees and allowing yourself to sleep in peace.

Rest comes after the task not as you're avoiding it.

Today I am dressed.

I'm going to sort (not snort) and straighten and while I work, I'm going to fill my mind with good music and inspiring words.

I'm going to plan so that my youngest sleep through the afternoon and I will have time to rest before school gets out.

Go forward with faith and gratitude.

Faith and gratitude beat despair and self-pity everyday of the week.

I'm grateful that my plate is full again.

I'm SO grateful to be tired.

I'm grateful for snorting kids and damn tables.

Life is really, really good.

Even on the days that I'm pushing through.

Today is going to be a great day!

See- I'm smiling!

It's awfully quiet... Where's Eve?

Filling the space.

Snow is blowing out my window.

Not the kind that stays, just the kind that inspires hot chocolate and warm novels.

I only have a minute, but wanted to tell you a little tactic I've adopted in my own little war on terror.  :)

This week I realized that one of the main things I hate about drama or arguing or contention at home, is that it takes TIME.  I have so many great things I want to do with my life, I hate wasting my hours being a referee.  Too much of my time was being spent shushing contention or encouraging kindness... I came up with some evasive action.

Two main conflict areas were the car and the dinner table.  My strategy-- fill the space with good, so there is no time to bicker.

On Sunday, I brought scriptures in the car.  (We always miss scripture time on Sunday morning.)  When the kids took turns reading aloud, they were listening and not cranking.  Church was much better after a calm ride.  We have also always picked songs to sing on the way to church.  

Telling the kids what to do, helped to keep me from telling them what not to do.  Duh.

I've also thought of topics for the dinner table.  I'm using that time as our 'family council' time.  We have always done two goods and a bad (sharing about our day).  Recently we've talked about Christmas and our family budget.  We spent one dinner talking about the pros and cons of getting a dog.  

Last night, we talked about the Three Little Pigs.  We talked about tricky straw salesman and how we can build our own house of bricks.  The kids came up with great ways we have our pot of water boiling in our fireplace.

I feel strong as I spend my afternoons thinking about things I want to talk about at dinner.  I'm taking back control of my home.  I'm choosing what gets our attention.

When I realized too much time was spent on kids talking about TV shows (mainly quoting old Psyche episodes or funny YouTubes).  We played one fun game where I would ask someone a question.  They would answer and then ask someone else a question.  I'm trying to teach them  how to talk on a date.

Anyway--  fill the empty spaces of your life with goodness.  Because, they don't stay empty.  If you don't fill them, Old Scratch will.  

Just sayin.

Off to enjoy my day.

Day 5 of no husband, filled with parent teacher conferences and all my kiddos at home.

I love my life.

Use Bricks.

I cried today. 

I was reading The Three Little Pigs to Eve, and I literally cried.

(You can laugh at me, I've already accepted my weirdness.)

There is just something about the story that I love.

This story teaches a timeless message of warning.

As I held my sweet baby in my arms I felt my mother soul hoping she heard-- build a strong, safe home little pig.

Build with bricks.

In my paperback, golden book version, the wolf EATS the straw and twig pigs.  Aside from the building, instrument playing and chiny-chin-chinning, this feels more real to me.  I really hate classics that are made politically correct with no consequences and wide-spread happily ever after.  Sometimes, pigs get eaten and it's sad.  (Although, as an oldest sister, I do love the "and they all ran to their brother's house for wolf stew" version too.)

I couldn't help but wonder if the first two pigs would have built their houses out of bricks if they knew where to find them.

Did they choose straw and sticks because they were lazy, because they were deceived by tricky salesman, or because they really wanted houses that wouldn't protect them?  

All three pigs came from the same supposedly safe home.    Did their mother explain to them WHY she built their home strong?  Did she send them out the door to earn their fortune armed with knowledge?  I don't want to be a 1/3 mom.  That poor mother pig.

I believe in good and I believe in evil.  I believe that we must build strong homes to protect our families.  We must build and we must teach our children why we are building.  Building a strong home takes work and effort and time.  Building a strong home requires that you spend your money on materials that strengthen and protect.  We build because we know there is a wolf and he wants to eat us.  We know the wolf because he has knocked on our door.  He will knock on their door also!

I do not live my life in fear.  Because I know and I am spending my days building a home of bricks.  It is interesting to me that the first two pigs are dancing happily up until the point that there is a knock at their door.

Today, we are not allowed to talk about wolves.  We pretend they are not there so we don't offend anyone in straw or twig houses.  

All around me, people I love are suffering.  Wolves of addiction, promiscuity, and irresponsibility are eating good little pigs. Even as their friends and family members are being eaten, they refuse to see how the wolf got in.  Sometimes as they are telling me the tragic stories I want to shout-- it's the STRAW!!!  It's not safe!!!

People are still buying straw!  

Stop!!  If you want to protect your families you need THICK walls-- invest!!!  Cleave to that which is SAFEST.

I want my house built of brick AND I want a stew boiling in my fireplace to catch the wolf in his sneaky spots.

I want to be able to have a home where my doors are open.  I want to say, "Run here if your house has blown down."  I want my little pigs to have a safe home to run to when they are getting huffed and puffed.  I cannot ignore or run away from the wolves around us, but I am a brick house little pig.

"Little Pig, Little Pig let me come in."

"Not by the hair on our chiney-chin-chin."

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in."

So, the wolf huffed, and he puffed, and he huffed, and he puffed again and again.  But he could not blow the house in!

The wolf got mad.  "Little pig, little pig, I will catch you anyhow.  I am going to climb up on your roof [and come in your Internet] and eat you up."

"Come down," said the little pig.  "Hurry up!"

The wolf came down the chimney and fell right into a pot of water boiling over the fire.

The little pig quickly popped the cover over the pot- and that was the end of [one] wicked wolf!

And the third little pig lived happily ever after in his house of bricks.

:: technology ::

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AyPG2QtuR5k&feature=player_detailpage&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Ffeature%3Dplayer_detailpage%26v%3DAyPG2QtuR5k

(I can't figure out how to embed this video- but it is 3 minutes long and adorable.  Watch it!! It will inspire you more than I can today.  Ha.)

I did download darling pictures off my camera to my laptop... Only now, I can't figure out how to get my laptop connected to the Internet.

And...

I'm doing laundry.

Shopping was tomorrow, only we're out of milk and eggs and apples.

I'm off to the store.

I re-read some of my posts from the hospital a few months ago.

How I remember the ache I had to gather laundry or push my babies in a shopping cart.

Today, I'll do both!!

We are a blessed people.

Life is lovely.

Laptops are annoying.

(Santa brought me an HP with windows 7 last year... Blah.  One problem after another.)

My laundry just buzzed-- I'm off!!

Enjoy your day!!

PS- eve is fully clothed today. 

So far.

Bite-sized Pieces

This year, I learned to REST.

I have felt peace and stillness. 

Rest does not come automatically when one is doing nothing.

Rest is not escape.

In fact, I see myself escaping more the further I get from rest.

Rest is being here, now.  

Rest is being content and happy as we travel- not constantly running to catch a dangling carrot or alluring worm on a hook.

You can feel peace while doing. 

You can feel rest while climbing.

I wish I could zap each of you the feeling I've learned.

This morning, I lost it.

I began to look around me and see insurmountable waves...

I have laundry to do (again).

My little girls unloaded their whole bookshelf of books onto their floor last night.

My basement toy room is dump-the-toys messy.

I need groceries (again).

My baby was fussy and needing a nap.

I needed a shower.

Eve was "washing her hands" and playing with water while I was rocking Ben.  And then she was naked (her clothes soaking wet) and carrying dripping sippy cups of water around the house in a basket.

I was too cranky with my husband last night and feel burdened with remorse (even after I apologized).

Getting my kids dressed every morning reminds me they NEED long sleeve shirts and pants.  We are not prepared for these cooler temperatures yet.

I see piles of pictures leaning against my wall and wonder if I will ever get to them.

Dinner, family night, treat.  Today is our first piano lessons-- I have a lot of kids to shuffle through.

Tomorrow Todd goes out of town for the week.

I meet with another surgeon on Wednesday and need to make some tough decisions.

I have friends and family that I'm concerned for.

Letters and a blog I wish I could write.

I felt the pressure weighing down on me... And then I stopped.

I went to my closet and prayed out loud.

I sought that peace that I have learned to feel.

I heard Heaven whisper... "We've got this Jen.  You can do this and you can do it well!  Go slow.  Be kind and grateful.  Plan your week.  Remember to take life in bite-sized pieces."

I took a moment, laid down on my bed with my journal and picked one thing a day.  Straighten today, laundry tomorrow, doctors and shopping on Wednesday.

My life became manageable as I decided on a smaller, simple list.

My to do's didn't change or magically get checked off.  I just remembered to take one step at a time.  I can only walk forward step by step. 

My resentment at not being able to fly, evaporated into confidence in my ability to step forward.  I felt excited and grateful to do these more manageable tasks.

I literally felt my worry and doubt fade away.  It's a physical feeling.

I felt REST and peace return.

I remembered that it is an honor to be alive, to be home with my children, to have the strength to gather laundry and clean up toys.

My life is chewable in bite-sized chunks.

Eve is sweetly playing with toys in the basement.

She is still naked.

Ben is sleeping upstairs.

I'm here in the kitchen typing quickly on my phone.

I'm grateful I have this blog that helps me remember.  And, I'm excited for my day.

I told you last week about a Lorenzo Snow lesson I loved (number 18).

Here is another quote from it that keeps echoing through my brain--

“If a presiding elder will only seek to become as he may be and ought to be, ridding himself of selfish principles, and always act for the good of his people, and be humble, and not seek to do too much in a little time, or be too great until grown, he will never be at a loss how to magnify his office properly, nor will ever lack the power of God to bring about His wise purposes.”

Not seek to do too much in a little time...

This is the KEY to finding peace and rest at home.

It is also the trial of our generation!!

We have too much stuff.  

We try to do too many things.  

Our To Do lists are too long!!

We are too capable and we aren't learning that life is not about doing everything.  

Life is about choosing and learning to hear through the veil of distractions.

When we are not seeking to do too much, we will always have the POWER of God to bring about His wise purposes.

He promised.

Only ONE thing is needful.

Just one.

What do you need to do now?

Me, I have a sweet, nudey little girl that needs some loving right now.  

And that is one thing that I can totally do.

Life is a gift.