filled.

i'm reading a couple books right now about the life of the Savior.
well, listening to this one (a FREE mp3 download!)... and reading this one.
today, i read about the miracle of the fishes and loaves.
when Christ  fed over 5000 with just a few fishes and loaves of bread
(yes.  i believe it was a true miracle.  i believe the food was multiplied.
and, i believe that Christ used natural laws to produce His miracles.
laws that i don't yet understand fully.  and He does.  cause He's God.)

anyway, i was imagining if i was sitting there when the basket was passed.
would i, seeing that there was not a lot of food and that there was a lot of people, would i have passed the basket without taking any bread?
would i have taken just a little to be sure everyone had enough?
or, would i have eaten till i was full... rejoicing in the bounty and miracle of the Savior.
i hope i would have eaten and ENJOYED and rejoiced.
imagine what that miraculous bread would have tasted like.
and, if i had passed, that wouldn't have meant that more people would be fed. 
because that's not how miracles work.
Christ is enough for me, and for you. 
For all of us to partake and be filled.

i thought about the sacrament that i take each week.
symbolic of Christ's atonement... his body and his blood. 
He died to save me from my sins. 
All i need to do is repent and come unto Him with a broken heart and a contrite spirit.  I am already saved by His miracle. 
I just need to partake of it. 
I hope that I can partake of the Savior's light every day so that I am filled. 
And, the miracle is, no matter how much of Christ is in me, there is still enough of Him to go around. 
i am hungry.
i get hungry every day, no matter the feast that i've had the day before.
i have tasted of the peace the Savior offers me.
it is better than any earthly bread.
i want to feast.
i want my soul to delight in fatness.
and today, i'm grateful for that reminder.
He wants me full.

eye love him.

just want you to know that

i really love this guy.

really.

it's so nice to love and be loved.

he really sees me.

and, he loves me still.

and... i smell him.

and love him still.

a lot.

and... some days i wish i was Mrs. God...
so i could help everyone find their peanut butter.

cause... life is meant to be lived in pairs.

i just know it.

happy love day!

ps.  so, i just write this sappy, love post right?  then i shut down the computer and glance over at a pile of laundry that the professor just took from the drier.  laying on the top is my new dillard's-super-clearance cardigan.  that i loved.  totally shrunk and ruined.  not only did he wash it (as i would not have) he dried it.  

this is not the first time that he has shrunk my favorite sweater...

he threw in a couple loads of laundry today while i was grocery shopping.  it was a surprise.  he had good intentions. but i am still SO MAD.  yes, i said it.  i love him, but i am so mad that he did the laundry.  

why can't i just know that he was trying to care and not feel like he didn't care at all...

marriage.

the moral of the story- yes, i'm grateful for my peanut butter... but sometimes i wish he wasn't so nutty.

true love.

true love = milkshakes AFTER the kids go to bed.

an heirloom.

the professor lived with his grandfather after his mission.
his grandmother gee had passed away and his grandfather passed on an heirloom.
Grandma Gee's floral temple bag.

the professor used and LOVED this bag until his own mother, Grandma Gee's daughter, happened to see it when she was visiting. 
(only a real man can could use this bag for 14 years)
under the tree, on Christmas morning, the professor received his own, plain black, temple bag.
and...

i inherited the beauty.
i LOVE it.
my mother's mother (although she was catholic and had never been inside a mormon temple) sewed the white dress i wear in the temple before she passed away.
i think of her every time i wear it.
and now, i smile and think of the professor's grandma, as i tote my stylin' bag.
thanks grandmas!
(isn't that bag great?!)

sock curls.

i saw this on another blog (i think one of the eyre girls) and thought i'd try it.

you just roll your girls hair in socks and in the morning... curls.
i'm not good with curls in general.
curlers turn my girls into annie-nightmares.

(sorry no after pictures-- it was SUNDAY morning... ellie's hair is still a bit too short, but it still looked cute.  leah's hair was cute messy-spirals and anna's long hair was fun!)

it was mild and sweet... not perfect curls, but styled and cute.
for sundays, i liked the socks better than anything else i have tried.

anyway... this post was for sonja... and anyone else who wondered about my girls' hair in the fort post.
socks.  that's the secret.

my friend sara (from our branch blog) always does her daughter's hair in PERFECT curls.
i really need to ask her HOW she does it.

peanut butter kids...

as a young mother i knew i wanted a large family.
my fear was that i would have a large, peanut butter kid, family.
you know peanut butter kids... their hair is always scragley, their clothes don't match and they ALWAYS have crusty peanut butter on their face (i didn't mention the boogie nose, but you know it's there).
i REALLY was afraid of the peanut butter kid syndrome.

well, i'm growing up.
and...

i LOVE peanut butter kids.

i think i've learned to see past the peanut butter.
isn't she adorable?
and just fyi...
this ISN'T Leah... this is a blue dog eating lunch.  blue, to match her eyes.

i think i'll miss my peanut butter kids someday.

oh... we LOVE forts?!

see... i am a good mom.

i only MILDLY cringe when i hear, "let's make a fort"
and, when they BEG to SPEND THE NIGHT in their fort...
i only threaten them with minor torture and gentle death if i hear them giggle ONE TIME.
ONCE and the fort is under siege.

gratefully, they are getting older.
and,  they really can go to sleep in a fort... all four of the big kids.
what fun?!
and now... we get to CLEAN UP all the blankets and books and SAFETY PINS that are attached to the curtains...

love it!!

ps.  building forts is bad...
but, not as bad as when they play "shopping" or worse "moving".
i HATE those games.
forts... mild by comparison.
and, what would your childhood be like if you could NEVER build a fort.
childhood without forts is like hot chocolate without whipped cream. 

what she doesn't see...

some "sensitive head" children cry no matter how gently you brush.
what they don't see is that really, with a brush in my hand i transform into a Brushing MONSTER...
trying to RIP HER HAIR OUT OF HER HEAD.
really.
i'm TRYING to hurt her.
cause, i'm a BEAST of a mother.
ROOOOAAAAAR!!

and, it's genetic.
i remember my mom... she was a brushing monster too... 
my ponytails were so tight i'd look Chinese till lunch.

do not poop.

we love balloons.
and, sisters.

tah dah.

i did it.
i got a perm.
and, so far, i like it.
it's not richard simmons...

just a soft wave for the days i don't blow it straight.
my goal was body... not spirals.
and, i got a new coat a few weeks ago...
old navy, 50% off clearance...
i promised i'd post a picture,
so here we are in all our glory.

cute huh?!
i hope i still like it tomorrow.

holes.

my sister-in-law lanette has 4 boy-boys.
and, they are always getting holes in their knees.
she asked me for some patching ideas...
this is what i found.

1.  This is my FAVORITE idea.  i hate that you can't really see this picture... they are SOOO cute.  here is the link... the patches are made from RAILROAD JEANS (you know, the blue and white striped little boy overalls).  IF you can find some cute patterned jeans at DI, just cut the patch and sew a straight line around the edges.  you don't have to worry about fraying... it's actually cuter frayed.

2. you could do a two-square patch, like these, i personally like the idea of using different jean fabrics, but if you want to do something besides jeans, red looks good.

3. you could leave the hole on the front and just sew a colored piece of fabric underneath.  anything you do would be cute, plaid, polka-dot, camo, etc.  Again, just put the fabric under the hole and sew a square around the hole to attach it.  my sister gave me a pair of jeans from express last summer, and they had holes in the knee.  when i bent my leg you could see that there was BLACK LACE behind the hole.  this is a subtle, cute patch idea.

 

5.  bandanas are kinda cute for boys, you can find all different colors.  

overall... i would just use a different pair of jeans and let the edges of the patch fray.  i don't think you need any iron on adhesive or anything, just pin it and sew a square... if the pants won't slide onto your sewing machine ask some other sewing friends, my machine has a really small bottom so i can slide on tiny arms and pant legs.  i would use light brown or light blue thread.

HAVE FUN!!

curls are in the air??

i have an appointment at 10am this morning.
i'm trying to decide... get a perm or spend my perm money on hair stuff that will help me curl on my own??
oh, decisions...

love is in the air...

oh, what a night.
today, our oldest turned 11. 
it was a good day, but also a day that left us wanting a quiet night together...
this was a "please turn our water into wine" night... we were on empty before dinner started.
gratefully, we made it through.  we celebrated, enjoyed and successfully bedded the masses.
drew took this picture of the professor.
it's his "put down the camera and get into bed" face.
no children were harmed in this production.
honestly, it turned out to be a nice, bonding night.
the professor did kids and i did kitchen.
both were equally daunting...
because jakob wanted spinach noodles, brocolli and chicken for his birthday dinner.
what kid wants SPINACH NOODLES for their birthday dinner.

but, ask and ye shall receive...
mmmmm.
actually, they were nasty.
the last time i made them, they were really good.
thus all my kids were so excited when we sat down to eat.  they all had heaping portions on their plates.
this time, i didn't have WHITE flour, just home-ground wheat flour.
jakob said it best when he said, "I don't remember them being so sandy."
mmmm.

mmmmm?!
breakfast was yummy...
eleven pancakes of course.  with buttermilk syrup.  so good.

 

and, what was the great excitement of the day???

  can you tell?
he got an ipod.
yes, an older ebay model... but, he is SOOO excited.
and so am i.  i love when my kids are happy.
we gave him $10 to spend on itunes...

jakob is a GREAT kid.  i really love him and, i REALLY like him.  jakob makes parenting hopeful.  ya know, you can look at your oldest and see what a great kid he's becoming and think... maybe i won't ruin them after all.    wow... ELEVEN YEARS.

hee hee... this is a real-live action shot.  i think the professor was only half enjoying himself.

and... we even took a little time to love this monster of a child.  oh, my sweet baby girl.

yup.  tonight... love was in the air.
as i held my first born in my arms this night, eleven years ago, could i have ever imagined a life this full?

little girls shirts... refashioned.

these pictures aren't great.  but, i just thought i'd post one of my christmas projects.
my girls needed long sleeve shirts to head to idaho... so, i had the professor pick up some plain justice tee's (he got them on sale for $5...)
and i added some embellishments.  it only took one night.
and, they have pant issues.
namely, they hate them.
ellie needs her pants to be "long enough" which means they have to drag on the floor.
so, i made them a couple of skirts (i just sewed the skirt right onto a pair of jean cut-offs).
and, i added some ruffles to pants that they wouldn't wear.
not my most lovely craft ever, but very functional for my dysfunctional dressers.

this was the page that i printed out of ideas i found on the internet.
sorry, these are all totally copied... i know the rainbow is from meg deurskan... not sure the rest.

these are the justice shirts and edited pants.

 

and here is the skirt sewn right over jean cut-offs.

they're cute, but honestly, i think i made the skirts too long. 

please don't tell my girls that i said that.

my life in pictures... the little red hen makes cookies

Nap Time!!

i'm gonna miss this...

it was afterschool time.
some were on the piano, some were doing chores, one was playing the violin...
i was mixing cornbread for dinner tonight and washing dishes from cookies this afternoon
and, my babies were near me.  i always have someone close.

i love the high chair stage.  especially when they are old enough for frozen peas and cheerios.
lily likes to hang with me.  she's happy in her seat as long as she can see me.
today, i was dancing around, every now and then i'd look at lily and she'd bob her head to the beat and we'd both laugh.
together, even while she sat in her highchair and i was doing...
leah is near.
she laughs and copies lily and helps stir and always licks the beaters, even when it's gross, raw egg, cornbread beaters.

and, i remembered that it's not always going to be like this.
i'm not always going to have someone close.
someday, i'll be alone in my kitchen.
and, i'm going to miss this.

honestly, writing this post made me cry.
i have the BEST job ever.

i lost ONE pound.

this is me... when i got home from the gym today.
lily was all wet from her night diaper so i stripped her down.
have i told you how much i LOVE babies.

love, love, love them.

and, i ran for 30 minutes straight today.
not fast (5mph), but running without walking in between.
i usually go 3 miles... this morning i ran 2.25 and did .75 warm-up and cool-down.
goal number one: run for 30 minutes... check!

and... i lost ONE pound.
a solid number down without the up and down swirling numbers.
hmm.  it did take me since SEPTEMBER.  but, nonetheless it was a victory.

i want to run 3 miles every morning first at 6mph then 7mph.
and not hate it.
this is my ultimate goal... 
not a grand accomplishment, but considering that when i first started i was DYING after 30 seconds i'm feeling good.
(and to loose 15-20 pounds... totally in the NORMAL weight for my BMI... and, if i don't have a baby before i get to this point, considering my current weight-loss trend, i should loose 20 pounds by the time i'm 40!!)
the professor lost 3 pound by the way.  3...

so... do the 'lost one pound' dance with me today.
it looks a little like the potty dance that is a favorite around here during potty training.
ps.  if you or someone you know is potty training, pass on the tip...
the potty dance works better than candy.
it goes like this...
potty, potty!!
you went potty!
now we'll do the potty dance...
potty, potty, potty!!!
it involves a lot of arm swinging and twirling.
fun, fun.
pps.  funny that i wrote this post today, because this morning i did NOT want to get out of bed.  i told todd twice to leave without me.  but, after 3 kids climbed into bed with me (5am) i figured i might as well go running because i wasn't going to get any sleep here anyway.
we put a movie on for the kids (jakob is 11 now and we do leave him for short spurts with the kids)... and i dragged my lazy bum to the gym.  i LOVE spending that time with the professor in the morning.  sweating together is very bonding.  most days.  except that he is always cheerful and talkative and i am CRANKY.  when we're done he feels energized and i'm exhausted.  he says he feels great and i feel like i got hit by a train.
but, today... i felt a little good.  i did fall asleep during scripture time and the professor's rendition of Cain and Abel.  but... i woke in time to send the kids off armed for 100 day... jakob, 100 beads; drew, 100 armbands; anna, 100 hair things; ellie, looked like she was 100 years old, and 100 bracelets.

anna called an hour after she got to school crying because her head hurt.  i told her to ask her teacher to take out the 100 hair bows.  she said, "really?"  i said, "yup!"  she said, "OK." and hung up the phone.
problem 53 solved!!
oh what a morning.